There’s a lot of energies

In my family. Which one will win? Mamas silent? Listening to it all? I wonder? Who’s standing out in the crowd? I sure hope we all do. Like I’m all about the win win.

And if me and my sister don’t get it together? There will be hell to pay. Straight up. I know that for sure. Mama will take it so long and then wam!! Enough.

I don’t want to be silent when Mama needs all sides. I’m not close by? So this is how I am checking in and telling her what I feel cuz I am not physically there to stand up for myself.

And in my family? You got to tans up for yourself. Mama can’t fight my sibling battles? I got to show up and do that. So here I am. Guess my sisters didn’t realize Mamas was a bit of a scrapper? Lol. For god. Lol.

It’s really amazing to feel the elegies move as I just weigh in and silence all the misunderstandings from here and I begin to see them so differently. And they learn to see me in everything they never saw.

Family dynamic change when a new member joins. And even though I was joined. Inside Mama and given away? I’m still a part of the whole. Like a slice of pie Mama Shared with someone. Which sounds maybe a bit simple. But true.

And all of us matter here. They think maybe because I am vocal? That I’m the hotdog? But no. I’m just the hotdog popping! Talking. Staring this conversation. Stirring Mamas pot. Seeing what in there? So I can see my place better and be of support visibility now instead of invisible. Cuz I always think and pray about them? Duh?

And that what Adoption does. Makes it seem like I am an option? I’m no option. I’m

Family.

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