You all think it was just easy.

For my Mama to leave me? Your all the ones crazy. And so lazy to not even see how you tanked as a species the day I went home with a stranger and no one said no!! Not even my Mamas Mother stopped her to raise me?

Yeah gramma misses it. And had to pray for me. Cover me in protections cuz she didn’t know the directions of what the word was saying? About children? To programmed by dogma she swallowed, laying their wallowing in ignorant doctrines that defy the real truth about children?

She failed my Mama. And I still loved her. Why would I want to spend time with a woman who could do nothing and then think her prayers would mean anything? Except to bring me home to do the clean up? Wake up!

Am I supposed to just make nice and say it all ok? When children lay in cribs of strangers this day longing for Mamas that gave them away trusting in a system instead of Hod almighty like Mary? Who ended up staring at her own baby hanging on a damn tree for telling the truth!?

Lord Jesus help us. Learn to do better. Please help me get this word out. Bless it and may it make you proud. I got the lesson? Mother is everything? And she deserves better! Well I’m gonna give it to her! Better. Better than 1963. I’m older. And wiser. I know what she’s needing is her own daughter.

Guess I’ll have hitch hike to her. No sister or brother who can come bring me to mother? No guts for standing up with their sister who earring for their mother! I shouldn’t have to! She’s mine too? Damn all of you lazy kept babies!

I will not dilute this. This Medicines so needed. Wake up to what’s being done when you choose to take instead of give. When you choose to sit when you should stand up and do something.

Maybe Mamas to weak to come get me? To tangled in her mind to get to me? Tied up with other people ideas of me? But god will deliver me to her. Again. And again. And again. Until she sees it. The gots God was bringing. To her back in the 60’s!! I pray she doesn’t have to die to see? That we are all able to help her adjust after brainwashing. To the blessing god’s bringing back to her for trying to follow a systems that’s fallow. God grace is for her. Beyond on this jacked up nonsense.

And Mamas seeing how mean folks were to me. And how strong that it made me. To stand up to liars. Even the ones that live inside her who told her it’s ok. She’ll get old and come find you. Can’t do a thing now? Just gonna have to burn the papers and act like she’s vapor. Dead as a door nail. And will never remember a mother like her? Fuck all that! Yeah. I came to prove it all wrong.

Adoptions math equations all off. Way off.

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