I miss you Mama
All damn year
But this year
I miss you most
I apologize for being such a disappointment.
And I am trying to do better
See? I finally realized
That I was always yours
And that no matter what who and where
You were always my lighthouse and my leader
And I am disappointed too.
That’s we all got scammed back in 63
And that no matter
How hard I tried
And I tried.
I could not
My body would not
Let me ever
Feelings come and feelings can go
When you finally come clean
Your Mama the truth
So hopefully she can see
She really means to me
I may now seem like some freak
Out of the woodwork
My prayer is in time
God’s work in me
And a miracle for all to see and appreciate what Gods sending to them
Cuz he’s gonna keep sending them
Until we receive the gifts that are within this daughter
Crying so loud it upsets me
Makes me shake and unearth it all
That love is been saving for just this right moment
Like wine I am pouring
Into your cup, so adoring you
This daughters heart is sore for you.
And this Christmas most
I wanted to be your special guest of Honor
And to sit by your fire
And love on your proper
Just like every ole daughter should love on her own Mother.
This doesn’t take anything away from my other
Mother who’s love has its own cup for drawing
But the cup is always filled to overflowing
With love from my love for just knowing
Who my Mama is within me.
It’s no sin
Can’t ya see?
I hit the mark God showed me
How to light a fire under an ass who’s not seeing
All the blessings that are coming
All that God’s unearthing
To build a better house for loving
Than a house so empty and void still pretending
It’s ok for us to even be this way
To God who is mending
Our hearts back together
With thread from the heavens
Stitching stitching unending
For the ties of a mother
And it’s just a silly tear from some devil
Who tried to cut what God knows is able
I love you
I miss you
This Christmas most.