But I keep going. At some point after helping someone? They see it. Whether they can admit it or give me credit depends on the severity of their mind set?
Very wounded or misguided folks? Have a hard time see what I do for them? They many times think that when I let go and leave them a line they get better? No. Like Mama Jean made me think better by showing me how she felt about what Mama did? And she worked hard to get throw to me?
Which took awhile if you’ll notice how hard it is for me trying to get through to Mama? She’s where I came from. She’s my base line. She’s blocked me? And yet I’m not blocking her? Seems like Mama Jean did get through to me?
And that brings me back to being misunderstood? I didn’t understand her? Hell no. It took me a long time to get her? She’s tough. And she does something about it. About me and my Mama. As I see it now?
Life is like a spin cycle. Going around and around. And many times we get thrown back into the cycles, Victoria, until we get clean honey buns. Yeah.
And maybe this is all something way higher than you all could even comprehend? That god wouldn’t want Mama to miss a thing? Maybe she wants to learn? And maybe she’s just venting? About me? You all gonna just keep telling her to block me? Scare her half to death and all? It’s your interpretation of my actions that’s the issue? She called the police on me? Who told her to do that? Who supported that? Who slammed doors in my face and called me a CUNT right in front of our own Mama? David heard it. Yippee! Go team?
Maybe? I actually did adapt so well? I came back to help Mama? It wasn’t easy. No. But this woman I live with seems convinced? Hmmmm? Maybe I adapted to good? No. I didn’t adapt so much to forget where I came from. No. And maybe I want Mama to experience something she’s not had? Unconditional love? That keeps showing up even thought she doesn’t always get it and she gets angry?
How did that happen? Is she just some dumb ass who loves pain? Holding me back? I was smart enough not to leave? Mama would not have taken me back anyway back then? She might not now? And I will go down swinging with my whole family standing around with their hands in their pockets. Mama can see that? And you. All of you. Judging us both.
I got over needing to be understood? I work on having a good affect on people. Sometimes the baby needs a spanking and sometimes your Mama needs the updates so she can understand what’s going on these days? And at least for me that meant driving her like a sheep dog on steroid to get on her new path? Yeah. God loves her that much? To cause me to help her see beyond what’s she’s known and lead her into her unknown. Her new.
I guess the girls and Nick would just have left you dumb? Oh. That’s right? They did. Good one. Wasn’t it Nick you read too? And the girls and all those brownie meetings and dresses and blah blah blah Mama? Seems pay back with be a bitch. And I’m Home just in time to let this bitch begin to straighten this out. And wake some folks up about you Mama.
It’s hard updating your Mama while doing damage control from some loser family members who don’t know what win even means? Oh. You all are winners are you? Think again. If Mama ain’t happy? Ain’t no one happy? And she’s not happy. She was just taught to pray and believe for God. Well God sent me. Deal. K?
Apparently I am the only sane one here? Who could deal with such a cluster fuck of a family that could not even see? Selfish. Self centered. Isn’t that what you all called me? Three fingers pointed back on all of you who did. Own your own shit.
And stop talking about who’s getting what of Mamas like she’s some god damn emporium!! She’s your Mama and your Grandma!! For god sakes! The cookware and the knives!! No! No! No!! Shame on you all! Stop it! It’s hers till she dies!! And stop talking about her dying! For god’s sakes! Upsets me to no get out! I even yelled at Chelsie one time for doing that to Nana, Mama Jean, it’s rude! Ill mannered!
If Mama told me this once she told me each time I came to call? Pour thing? She better be being treated well? Or all hell will break loose. You think this blog is bad? Try a face to face when I am really angry and not just dealing with psychotic family members? I’ll clean your clocks. Do I have to drive up there and help her around her house? Does she have a maid? Why not? A gardener? Why not? To cheap to give that to her for Christmas? Did she clean up after you? Yes. I think she did?
But no. Give me give me give me give me? Then I come up and she thinks I am the same? Like hello? Didn’t think I saw that did ya? No. I imagine not? Pour things? Mama kept you? Spoiled you with her love? Lol. I mean really.
It’s time for Mama to win. Which means you all have to get over yourselves and what you think Mama wants? It’s what you all want that keeps her like this. But I am setting her free. Free to be my Mama. And maybe supported to heal from all of this instead of acting like it does Hurt for you all sick people? While you all drag her precious daughter through the damn mud? Wow!
Mama. They can’t hurt you. Or take you things. Those are yours. And you don’t have to give anyone a thing you don’t want to. And Jack? Don’t you even ask for another thing. The cookwares off the table and apologize to your Gramma! Now. Liz? I swear? Teach him some manors. That’s not ok.
Mama should not have to feel like her own children are sharpening their knives to get all that she and Phil worked for and gave up time together to provide for themselves. No all you? Seriously. Stop. I won’t be quiet. mama said I don’t have too. She hasn’t stopped me yet.
Put that in all your books. Mama did not stop me. Cuz that woman knows I love her. Just stop. You’ve all done enough and she really upset at you all now? For being so ungrateful. And unwilling to share. Her. With her own child? Sick is just not strong enough of a word.
Shame on you all. Get right with God and buy your own cookware! Knives or whatever! I rebuke this behavior in the name of Jesus! Gran Gran is sick about it too and rolling over in her grave. Ugh.
Mama. I love you. I came back to make this better and better is what your getting. It’s taken sometime with so little help from the peanut gallery over there?
And Victoria the witch. I send back every spell sister with this prayer. May all you’ve said to me, be sent to you. In Jesus name amen. I hope you spoke well of me? Cuz it’s gonna hurt if not? You can confess your sin one to the other, and avoid any negative karma? Or? Well. You get me sissy? Don’t you?
Now Mama. It’s almost Christmas. This jobs been my biggest. But remember this. I came to win. Which mean you win too. Xoxox.
Always your champion. Always. Love you true. Xoxox.
The message box for your phone are back up? Have you been listening to them or has Victoria been deleting them to keep you dumb? I hope everyone’s being good to you? I don’t wanna have to sue anyone. But I can? Some family members are just wicked. But God sees it all Mama. God see and send help. Xoxo.