Cuz blessing are coming and already here banging on the doors. And to receive then we must let go. Everything I’ve written here is to edify. If grumbling and complaining is all you can to think again.
What’s this means is we all get a rewrite. Or to be written out? So choose wisely. I know what being supposedly written out mean? Nothing except that it messes up the whole story line. Chops it up and then god’s gotta piece it back together.
And times wasted. Laziness and an unwillingness to see what is and do something about it. Like crying over spilled milk. We are all crying inside. I’m the only one showing it. I’m the one being honest about it. You all? Be fronting. Look it up. Fronting.
And if the whole family can’t seem to see Mama needs us? Well what the hello? Tap tap! Wake up! Cuz I can see that from California!! And you all are there under her nose? Must stink for Mama to have you all soooooo blind?
I even cleaned Mamas windows? As sign to her that the beauty outside was not reflecting back to her what her heart wished to see? Yeah I cleaned them for her. I didn’t just roll up and take and go. The pond needs cleaning? I’m sure of it. Who helping? You? Consistently? No. I’d say your not. Or it would be done. I’m sure Phil didn’t teach you all to act like that? Is he happy about that? I would think not. Christmas is coming and Mama misses him. Why? Because he helped draw us together.
It’s time we all learned his lesson. The lesson her taught us all. Take care of her when I am gone. That’s the lesson in a nutshell. He bought that home for her. Picked it for her. Fixes it for her. Worked for her. Saved for her? Like come on. A blind man can see that. Don’t tell me you all don’t in your comfortable lives he supported? Primed and watered? To be like this? And me showing you all up? By showing up. And having the hard conversations. And remembering Mama as she still mourns and always will to some degree for a man such as Phil.
Who gave all for her. Like a real man does. All that he had. And always trying to find more. Not perfect. Yet perfectly imperfect for our Mama. A lover and a foe. A friend and a companion who gave way more than a shit about here? You should too. How long does it take to do for Mama something? Well? I don’t have a lot? But I got in the car to show Mama I care? Cleaned the windows. Painted rocks? Helped to clean the pond a bit? Took maybe some anger from her when I left? Cleaned up her energies by letting her see me closely. Letting her ground into me more so she could be grounded more. I drove to take her shit. I took the bullet for her and you all be fronting like you have? Ha ha! Jokes on yourselves.
And if I sound arrogant? Look in the mirror. Of me to see how arrogant you all are hoarding our Mama like you all have bonding her to an old way. Not supporting her with me? Not even including me? All of your math is off of you even think you can subtract me. I. Am. A. Constant. And Mama is my constant. So are you. You just suck right now cus you suck at math.
You might have had here? But she was always mine too.
Proverbs 6:9-11 New King James Version (NKJV)
9 <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NKJV-16550A" data-link="(A)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>How long will you <sup class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NKJV-16550a" data-link="[a]” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>[a]slumber, O sluggard?
When will you rise from your sleep?
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to sleep—
11 <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NKJV-16552B" data-link="(B)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>So shall your poverty come on you like a prowler,
And your need like an armed man.
Wisdoms crying in the streets through me back to her. And she getting the message. Cryptic and all. She see too. And she’s amazed! Thrown back. Stunned at what’s happened to her girl. And that I am this intelligent to put God all the way in the driving seat and just follow God’s lead home to her hearts door. With love and respect and demanding her honor.
20 My son,<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-16561AD" data-link="(AD)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> keep your father’s command
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-16561AE" data-link="(AE)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
21 Bind them always on your heart;
fasten them around your neck.<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-16562AF" data-link="(AF)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
when you sleep, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.
23 For this command is a lamp,
this teaching is a light,<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-16564AG" data-link="(AG)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
and correction and instruction
are the way to life,
When I became a Christian. I read proverbs not John. Why? Cuz I already knew God’s love was real. The day I accepted Christ? Was the day I accept that God’s love was real and showed up to enlist on God’s army of lovers. To love folks back to a right mind. To thump the mind to make it swing back and forth. To work the middle ground and make it strong and less one sided. That’s a healthy mind. One that can go right yo left and calculate in the middle. Balance.
This fights over in your mind. I’m wrapping it up. Last scenes are U.N. the cutting room. Who do you all want to be to me now is the question. Open enrollments begin for the new story. Who will you play? Villain? Dumb ass? Dork? Looser? Codepenntemt family member that can’t seem to learn lines and is way behind on the new scenes progression? Hmm? You tell me? I’ll tell you if you’ve made the cut by how you act from here on out?
Do you wanna live without Mama like me? Seems like it was hard? Cuz as swift as the knife seems to be cutting me girls and boy? It could cut you? Yeah. Didn’t think about that plot twist did ya? I’d did? Cuz I already was cut for a time such as this. When Mama can come out of her mourning and hold her head High with pride. God helped her in 63. And it wasn’t easy holding onto Mama this way. But I never let go. And it lead me home.
Yeah. Look at that. I’m tired of explaining this to you all lazy asses. Ungrateful children of an amazing woman. I love deeply. To lead her to believe I don’t and that she should fear is on all of you now. Not us. Xoxo.
I am the Mess Ender. With this message feedback to Mamas hearts door. God heard it all and told me. Xoxo. Now ya know Mama. How much am adopted Child loves their Mama.
Just like any other child? But stronger.