Oh. My eyes are red. I cried today.

I sometimes wonder if Mama cries when I cry? Those are the answers I never got to see growing up? Does she cry alone like me? And need to take an antihist so her eyes won’t puff? Or was it my fathers side?

I wrote a lot today. Some days I admit I don’t post what I write. It’s raw and harsh the feelings I feel. It’s not easy being this sensitive. I warn people. Like my kids. Don’t make me have to correct you? If you say your here and leave? I’ll know. Like I wish I could turn it off. It seems to have intensified. Like damn radar. That’s why Chelsie hides from me? She thinks she can? Yet she can’t. I always find out. It’s crazy.


I see her there in the chin. The way I purse my lips.

Excuse the red eyes. Lack of sleep due to 7 puppies and dry eyes from crying a bit. Letting the river flow and get it out. Lots of energies I feel these days. It’s like feeling it all. But it is 11:39. I should drink some water. Good idea!

But. I see her. It’s like a ghost that lives inside you and you don’t realize it until you meet the ghost that’s has haunted you for life. Then it’s even weirder. And I kind of think it’s the same for Mama. Like oh! There you are. Maybe I show her parts of herself from days gone by? I mean she was not there to prune me?

Maybe I am a bit overgrown? Who knows? Seems she learned the quiet game too? I never liked that game. But I did learn a lot! About people and things. There’s a lot folks say and do. And when you quiet they forget your there and just let the cat out of the bag. I’ve seen a lot of cats out of their bags in this life it’s amazing what folks will do in front of an orphan that’s they would in-front of anyone else.

And not all of it’s bad. I’ve been asked to hold silly secrets that we’re not silly to the people who told me. Being quiet did gain me trust. But could I trust them? Not all of them? Most of the ones who wanted secrets kept were blabber mouths. I blab for a reason. A damn good one. If I’m taking. You should listen. Cus I do t waste my time on anything I don’t believe in. Or that God tells me to waste on.

It give me joy to waste time on people. Because if I waste time on them, someone somewhere will waste time on me. That’s called paying it forward giving. Ahead of time giving. Faith in motions giving. Knowing that the precept of giving is true. Testing it. To see it’s true. God does not ask any of us to blindly trust? It’s like dipping your foot into water, god does not demand we jump in. No.

My mamas just not sure about this pool of consciousness writing here called me. She never heard what I say? And I’m wicked. In a good way. Always. But like I use the word to create something and expose what is. Even if folks feel it’s horrible and shameful and feel guilty as hell. I’ve practice for. Giving for years for this day would come and I would be ready to battle with

Ephesians says. 6:12
New Living Translation
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Now let me break it down for ya. It does take science to explain the meaning of this Scripture and a dictionary.

It’s saying our fight is not against flesh and blood per say. Meaning there is no need of blood shed. We are not enemies. Remember the Bible is written in the language of love and truth. Truth is a language. Yes. Love has a language too. And today it’s lopsided love lacking salt and sour. To much sweets can rot your souls purpose.

The evil rulers. What’s that? And authorizes of the unseen dark world. Now this ones deep. Not everyone will get this. I am bumping some doctrines here to explain an expansion of the scriptures into today’s lingo and consciousness. We have evolved folks!! Like it’s 2019 almost! It’s not 1900’s? So get with it.

Ok where is the darkness? In the unknown right? Where do we lack knowing? The mind. The mind is the dark place. The devil is in the mind. And the devils name is also called ignorance. Which is not knowing. Stay with me as I lead you. To understanding.

The mind is like a processor. Science. There are neural pathways all up inside the brain. Like roads. With inner sections where thoughts travel unless? Ignorance is present then the pathways is blocked for lack of knowledge. Like a puzzle without a piece. Oh my? What’s shall we do?

Never fear. God’s always here. Within waiting to help us create knowledge through learning what we need to shed light into blocked or dark inner-sections? The Bible is timeless but written in the language of past days that were filled with much blood shed as ignorant folks liked each other and Jesus for lack of knowing.

Did not Jesus say? Forgive them for they know not what they do? And yet god within him let us do that? Why? To mark the spot in this story line. To stop us. But we, meaning the whole of humanity have been banging around I darkness killing each other for years! For fear sake. Not for god sake. Because the code above says we don’t war with flesh and bone and no ones even seen this? Like this? And it’s time I speak up. It is insane how we just keep doing the same thing and calling it something else? Much like Adoption? And the times back then when everyone didn’t know how to do non hostile takeover. Like Moses tried to be non hostile. But pharaoh just had a strong mindset.

His pathways were block by his own ignorance from being king and no one standing up to his insanity to think himself the only god in town? God’s within us all. The church must get this. God is within and part of each of our on Baird systems called bodies? How have we missed this and chosen to stay stupid. Ignorant.

  1. lack of knowledge or information.
  2. “he acted in ignorance of basic procedures”
  3. synonyms: incomprehension of, unawareness of, unconsciousness of, unfamiliarity with, inexperience with, lack of knowledge about, lack of information about; More

My people parish why? For lack of knowledge? Parish? Die? Are killed or stave? Why? Ignorance. We are still not even able to get along without killing each other which show me there is a deep rooted psychosis is we don’t get this code or scripture. ? Makes me scratch my head and God’s? Cuz I played the quiet game and took it all in and did not limit my view on anything. My Mama was not there to tell me no. She chose not to be there to tell me what to do. So God told me what to do. Not Mama Jean. I’ve picked up some habits and technics from her?
She never got to think she owned me. She tried. But nope. I’m my own. My Mama let go. Ain’t no one hangin on. You can walk beside me. But don’t tell me how to walk. You can teach me how you walk? But god tells me why and how to walk. So talk to God about me. I’ll get the message assure you. And so will anyone else if they are not blocked.
We block or are blocked when we lack knowledge. Now the scriptures or codes also say that God Who is within remember that.
Roman 8:11

  11 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you.

And the church needs to stop waving hands and praying to the sky. Although all is God and god is all. So back to darkness and powers.

Powers is talking about patterns that keep us in a holding pattern and keep the mind stuck in same way thinking instead of expanding and growing it’s just recycled and named another name instead of being confronted.

Systems is an outward manifestation of this. We made them up. And we can remake them. But we struggle and change takes forever. Why? Lack of knowledge and laziness. Also nutrition is involved too. Earth is need for conductivity. Diatomaceous Earth is very vindictive and can soften the pineal gland. Which is what? Where the frontal lobe is. Which is what? The third eye area. Which is what? Forethought. For seeing.

The pineal gland (also called the pineal body, epiphysis cerebri, 
The pineal gland (also called the pineal body, epiphysis cerebri, epiphysis or the “third eye”) is a small endocrine gland. It produces melatonin, a hormone that affects the modulation of wake/sleep patterns and photoperiodic (seasonal) functions.
Salt is need too. Sea salt with a good electrolyte balance. ATP is not possible without mineral and Na. Salt is not just sodium when it comes from the sea. Which is how it should be. Natural. Balanced. Mother Nature, God in feminine form crates the best things and we always have to play with it instead of study what is. But we do need balance.
Stop eating good salt and have trouble with a heart beat. Which is ATP in actions and muscles too. Gatorade. Is sodium and potassium mostly. You can hydrate yourself many other ways and water is not filled with electrolytes. So? We are the chemists and must learn how.
I’m throwing it all at ya. I’m not boxing this Info. So keep up and pay attention I am a multilevel thinker. That’s what we all can be. But I would not recommend abandonment. But it does kick the processing up. Way up.
Ok. Back to the code above. Pay attention. And ask questions. Look around you. Take time to see a bigger picture because we all are part of this process called life lesson and learning. Money’s so great but not if we all are stupid. It’s time for everyone to evolve. Especially the church that stick back in fear and the dark ignorant ages. Are you with me? Breath. I’m taking you deep. Take a break. Come back. It takes time to cut a new groove of thought. Believe me. I know and illustrate where my Mama is now due to be being gone learning how to preach. And Minister.
I am a mental surgeon. I will cut ya! You’re mind that is and stitch it. And you’ll feel better afterwards. Freer. More expanded. That’s what’s supposed to happen. But if a Patterson real deep? Like Mamas it takes time and painstaking percussion to get it all. Ignorance is like a disease. Dis. Ease. Lack of ease. Of course. Because we all lack ease when ignorant and no one can show us? We can’t seem to find the answers?
My Mama has prayed for many answers that she getting now from her girl. Kind of cool. She still trying to get out of her groove? But the new ones started. As she let’s go of control and let’s Jesus. Who is repressed as the corpus callosum in the brain. The bridge between the right and left side of the brain. The feminine and masculine divided by Jesu. Father God. Mother God and Jesus. And if the right and the left sides don’t talk? Blocks are there and Ignorance is present which is what evil is?
Evil needs a facelift. I’m done with folks calling folks evil. So dumb too.
Evil is ignorance cousin. So don’t hang out with them. Come learn and get knowledge. Knowledge is power but it’s not easy to get. You’ll have to get close to the Flames and get your feelings hurt to learn. But it’s worth it. We all evolve when we all learn and are empowered. Power within is knowledge and wisdom from that knowledge and experiences.Fear can’t hang around when Ignorance becomes knowledge. Ignorance can change you know? If you do the work. There is no need to hurt another except their feelings. That’s when folks go wild and become violent. When a pattern is ingrained and we all become Impatient and don’t teach and listen to be of assistance instead of adding to the problem by inhibiting progress by killing anything. Which is radical.

I can hear you all saying. Not kill anything? Yeah. We need to begin to stop killing off things. Ideas. Animals. And people. Especially babies. Killing babies is the most ignorant. Moving them is ignorant too and stops evolutions. If woman can’t even conceive and receive assurance and support in doing so? We all are sick. Probably due to lack of oxygen. Since we can’t seem to plant more trees and top cutting them down like dumb asses. No wonder we are all in this mess. Yes. It’s a mess around here? Pay attention this planets our home. Dumb asses. We are all related. Duh?

Free will ain’t free! It’s cost me! And you to if you’re take a Moment to look up after reading this? Look around. There’s a lot to be done to make our home better and we are gonna all have to do it. My Mamas just one. She’s got to get evolved. To see love in everything. Not anger. That’s a pattern of grieving. She’s stuck in anger stage. Ok. I’m helping her get over hump of ignorance in front of your damn faces. And she’s learning! Have some damn faith will ya? I do. And she gave me away. If I can so can you!

If we all could do what I’m doing? We’d all be better cuz we’d know better and we’d get over Ourselves and realize it’s time to grow up and go home. We all are the protocol sons and daughters here. Lord Jesus. Folks. Put it together. Take the damn time! Times all we have! We all are god. I won’t take anyone telling me different. We all just got different level of ignorance.

Non are free from a missed mark. And we all need to stop bible thumping and educate each other? And stop getting so egotistical and fight with fists? See? Once you get it? It all started to fall into place. Once you see that we are working with 10% brainpower. Due to lack of air and disconnection from the fact we all are connected. Avatar is real. But we don’t have to plug our hair into the ground. We never are disconnected. Just asleep at the wheel. God’s driving us 1000 miles an hour. But we came her to learn this Matrix Called God. This ball that is us. This cell that is we and yet one.

This place is our playground for learning. Forgiveness is needed. The prodigal sons father forgave. Because he was a prodigal son. His son had to learn the hard way. Like us all. But we can teach better than way back then now can’t we?

Well? That’s a start. Let’s see who’s Ego gets upset first and blast me with a post. Love is everything. Hate is love in reverse and blinded. Let’s all wake up and remove the blinders. Ignorance ain’t bliss. It’s what killed Jesus man?


I’m not editing this. So excuse me. God bless.


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