Hey baby girl. It’s been so long that we’ve talked in this world. I always talked to you in my dreams. Just like my Mama does with me. Dreams are where our souls commune while our bodies rest. It’s kind of like avatar. Here is where we play out our roles, as souls in bodies.
There’s so much I want to sip tea and hear about you and your life now. And to hear what it’s like without me around? I’ve missed you baby. But I know you had to do what you had to do. But you know me? Honest to what folks call a fault? It’s really hard without you baby? But at least I can see you in my dreams. Thank god for that.
Our connection is strong. Thank you for your prayers during this, whatever it will be called? Conniption? Breakdown? Facing some shit and some people? Setting folks straight. You know how I am? What the hell did you think I was gonna do baby? Leave it like it was? Hell no! What a mess? That old way was! Lord Jesus! Can’t anyone up there even see that? I wonder?
Yeah. So like a good Mama, I’m teaching you how to stand up to your Mama by standing up to mine? And claiming the birthright that runs through my veins! That has always been mine. Nana is hard wired into us. Claiming my blood line birthright has nothing and everything to do with Nana! She always matters. Did you think my Mama sent me to fail? Like I hope not? Baby doll? All I’ve been through with that woman wasn’t for hate sake? I may hate how folks act? But I love them enough to tell them so they can change?
Honest feedback is a key ingredient to any good relations with anyone. If folks can’t take the truth? Well? It’s on them? And to take my own medicine is to say that I won’t be writing to you anymore because it appears you don’t even want me anymore? Which is so weird? Because I never gave up on my Mama? And it feels like you gave up on me? Us? Nana? Angela? David? Maximo?
We can have a new life? We can rewrite a new chapter? But you have to show up to help? How can your lines and wishes be written? Do you just want to drink tea together? Yes. I love you? It’s hopeless baby girl. I can’t stop if I tried. Gramma broke me. Love. I just keep loving folks when they fail to see love in me. I keep going back for more. I show up. My Mama didn’t. And it hurt so bad. It made me shamelessly show up for folks that block me, leave without saying goodbye, divorce me, make babies with me, give birth too, that don’t understand me?
I could go? But what is gained to give up on love? You know I don’t back down girl? What I love I love. There is no off button baby girl?
The only thing that can be changes is folks accepting me as I am? And me accept you like you are? And if this is how it must be for you to be happy? Ok. I don’t want to. No. It hurts. And it does not feel like the right action? I also feel a new narrative would help. The old ones blown out. I apologize for barfing all over the internet baby? But I feel my story can help folks that are like me to overcome their fears and to find their voices? Like I’ve found mine again. More.
It’s like there are layers to a voice? Depth? I don’t know how you are doing it? I guess being mad at me like my Mama is? It works for a while? But real love when it comes to call? Angers not got a chance against that kind of force? Especially a fierce love like I have for you!! My precious surprise gift! I know I am a shit baby? So are you. But that’s ok. I’d rather have a shit like you than any other shit!
You are missed. By us all down here. I don’t know what you’ve been thinking? But like stop please? And read my works baby girl? Mama loves you true. Even in hard times. That’s the lesson I learned. Anger is the other side of Love. I know you love me true too baby girl. It’s ok. Just call me when you can please.
I miss you silly? You hit me. I feel the pain? Ouch. Baby girl? I love you so much. Not even distances can stop it. Not even anger can stop it. Blocking won’t work? It’s like a flood? Why wouldn’t you want that? Why would you block that? Because I don’t act right according to you?
My Mama gave me away? I don’t block her? I love her and try to work on us? What’s your deal? Yeah. I put it on blast? What did you think I would do?
Anyway? If there is hope for us darling? Hit me up? I don’t know what you want? And I don’t even want to talk about not talking to you so I won’t say I’ll leave you alone? I am your Mama.
Being a Mama is a calling I do take quite seriously. Gladly. I am glad I am your Mama. Come what may. I love you. I just don’t like your actions right now. Xoxox💋💋💋💋💋💯❤️😘