Like don’t even tell me

Don’t even tell me that what I am doing here is not having an affect on my family dynamics!! I stopped this train and rerouted it.

Don’t even tell me they call can’t feel a change in the air. My words have escape unto the airways and are having an affect. My family was set in their perspective ways? I turned the table over at the temple gates!! Turned them all on their ears about a few things they would appear to want to brush under the proverbial rug? No. We are not going to do that anymore.

And that is a pattern that appears to be quite deeply inset into the minds of my biological family? Old patterns run deep. Witch craft and woo woo. Superstitions and gobble de gook and religiosity run rampant. We can earn our way to heaven. But we can act right until we get there?

Having your family block access to them is cruel and harshly shows the affect of what they were told about me? Am I the one who puts strychnine in the well? My name maybe Anne with and E. Yeah. She never did that why would I? My family has treated me like a psychotic cereal killer who wishes to damage my own Mama? That’s how you all made me feel? Is that what you meant? Does anyone mediate? Maybe Chelsie should step up to her calling and begin mediations for us? Or we all can just begin to speak freely?

Like Victoria called me a cunt one visit? I never popped her in the mouth for that? I think I’ve proven my manors? My son didn’t either but he mentioned she did? What thing to see? That’s what I am pointing out. The actions also of my family when I go visit? Mama made me coffee? Vicki comes in telling me I am Unwelcomed?

I feel like Mama was showing me the issue? Vicki’s having trouble accepting me too? Like wow. It goes on and on until we confront the pattern square in the faces of my family and announce change! Change! Drink up, drink up, move down, move down.

Two sisters avoid. Two sisters confront. Mamas in the middle. The two confronting are at least trying. The other two or lazy. Yeah I am calling you two out. Here. ✋ come on. Let me see what you two got? What are you scared? Come out. Speak. What do you think I am doing here? This is an open discussion. You all just kept it closed off? Step up be heard sisters?

All that college? And Vicki does have more to say? Lol. She got paid for her knowledge and so did Mama and I? Chelsie too? Watch and learn girls as sister baby whips us all together into a yummy stew. I am sure Mamas hungry by now for a meal so sweet? Yeah. She is. I’ll lead Mama? To us all. To the future. To God and Jesus who heal all broken people families and things? If we ask, we receive. I ask for us all.

What’s the deal? What are we all scared of? Change? An amazing new life beyond pain and Mamas grief gone? Don’t tell me you like that shit? No. You all don’t like it? If I don’t like it? You don’t like it either but just won’t say so for fear? See? Fear again? It’s all over this and I bring faith in our humanities to do better. Toot sweet!

    Mamas not getting any younger and climbs on the ladder to the roof anyway? So we need to have some good memories together seeing her smile when she sees us a together working for her? Hello? It’s not all about me! It’s about Mama and me. She should feel and see us working to be the good she gave us? If our good is stunted it up to us to grow up.
    Surely, you don’t believe Mama that she wants it like this? Cuz your all blind if you think that? Like wake up. I’ve got my big girl panties on, now you put yours on and let’s show Mama what’s she got in us all? Not this three legged dog? We have four legs to carry her to her success with us? Ok?
    Mama gets my respect for what she did. Realizing her limit? She did her best? I’ve down her the affect? What I had to wade through to as I maintained my love for her trying to learn what she wanted me too in the new world she sent me?
    She deserves to have us all be who we are. And to accept her as she is but not leave her there? Isn’t that what God does with us all? Just as I am without one plea? I’m extending my hand. Extend yours? Or just flop down and be lazy? Mother children relations take work. Nick needs to step up too? I don’t think he has an issue? He’s just more waiting for the green light? The woman in this family have strong ideas. It takes a while to get us together? Lol. Yeah. I see that. I don’t judge it. I call it like it is.

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