I’ve never been diagnosed Autistic? But I identify with Temples words so much.

I rocked myself

I rolled around to sooth myself.

Maybe? My Mama acts high functioning Aspergers a lot. Her vocabulary seems limited to a certain language. A lot of bible verses for sure. She’s not real social. If you had to drive to get to her house you’d get what I mean? It’s like she lives in a thicket of roads going this way and that. If you first go to her place you need a map or gps.

She is OCD. She told me that. And I really want to say it ok. Like Temple says we need all kinds of minds. I really feel and maybe I am wrong? But I’m pretty spot on so far, per my Mama telling me I hit all her buttons. But I feel that maybe Mamas hid this too. And I believe she needs to embrace herself completely. I have.

Listen going to the dark side of a subject only means the lights get turned on so we can see. I have shined the light into my Mamas mind that was shaded by a bunch of bullshit, I scooped and pointed it out, tagged it, bagged it, and given her a full blow by blow about it as I go along cleaning her mind out. Like a tornado, I whirled that lady around and have her a make over like no other. Now. She can see her beauty through me. She can see what’s not hers in others too.

She can be my Mama as best we can now. We will define that new role as we go and make our own history that we can celebrate. Differences can be celebrated and so can commonalities. And it’s high time we celebrate them both while we all still have this chance to make a new play for our collective family.

I think it’s exciting. I mean everyone’s got shit. Thrivers put shit on the garden and make a meal to make more better shit to poop. Lol. Life. Mamas needed to be rid of this shit long ago but I was sent on a detour so I could do better.

Accepting what is doesn’t keep the same thing going. Accepting what is helps one see where one is, so that they can make a new choice. I’m not sure anyone’s been as honest as me to Mama? It’s not an easy job letting her down easy. I do believe I was easier on her than she was with me?

Thanks.

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