I really tried

I really tried to like living without my Mama and family. But honestly. Who really like to be cut off from their Mama? Like really folks?

It’s like being forced into a third party situation by your own Mama and expected to be happy about feeling like a cheater? When the one you love is still alive and you just can’t get to them? Seriously dysfunctional at it best and worst.

  • I don’t hate anyone. I just love and want my Mama back. Am I supposed to keep saying a lie after all this time? I always have loved and wanted her? Guess she thought different?
  • I figure waking her up would and was the only way? It’s like my Mama went I to a deep sleep about me? Seems waking her up is the answer? Because I am her princess. Who needs a prince when she’s got me?

I love both now. But had to really work at expanding my emotions to create space for a woman I didn’t even know before Adoption. Ok?

Art is therapy. Hope.

I found so much peace working with art. It’s just so funny how creating something beautiful can focus the energies into something transformative.

The colors are energizing. This red, orange and yellow colors make me feel empowered and energized. These colors are the same colors of the chakras. Root, sacral, and solar plexus.

As an Orphan I can attest to how separation from my Mama rocked my foundation energetically. And I am not the same. It affected me in a very deep way and art helped me process such complex emotions that no one could even see.

I work it out many ways. Art is one. Singing also is a energizing way to release pended up energies that I could not place and yet found in song. Puff the Magic Dragon was one of my favorites growing up. Peter Paul and Mary’s harmonies soothed my spirit as I was forced to travel this world without my Mamas hand to hold and arm to rest on and smell?

Yes. Smell. How I soothed myself was also to smell the closest thing to my Mamas smell was myself and my blanket growing up gave me much comfort because as I woke at night with night terrors, I clung and smelled my Blankie.

I slept with blankie until I was in sixth grade. I kept blankie as long as I could. She feel apart. But I still sleep with some kind of Blanket these days too. Why give up something that works?

Coping mechanisms we create for lack of the original are key to self comforting? And self comfort is key in an orphans life.

I hope you enjoy my creations today. I am now on Fineartamerica.com so please if you would like one of my prints check it out. The link to my page is below. And please share. It’s how I am earning income now. Thank you!! In advance to anyone who purchases something.

https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/2-belinda-arnold.html

Hopefully I can find more ways to share my creations.

Thanks for coming by and that you like to read.

Again. Thanks for diving deep with me today.

God bless!!