Ya know? It’s not easy being honest….. or tellin lies!!

I’ve tried both in my life time, lies and the truth. But? You can see why? Now? Why I held so much back? For damn fear? Fear of this and fear of that? Fear. Fear. Fear!!!!!!!!! Chasing me down like a run away bride? For what? You might think if your reading this? Glad you thought that question? Let me answer you.

I feared being my true self, because, I’m not really like anyone I grew up with or came from? I am unique. And filled with strong belief that are against the norms. And it’s not a conscious thing? In fact growing up it was very unconscious. My ideas and thoughts would just slip out and reek havoc. I am a seer if everything? Patterns, in nature, relationships, business, trends seer, and wound seer. I seem to see what folks think they are hiding?

My Mama hid me? This is the thing about my gift? It’s limited by God and what I need to see? Growing up I could only see so much? I spent a lot of my time trying to play by the rules laid down for me by Adoption and my Mothers agreement to join together in my raising. The goal was my betterment. And I would say that they have done well. Yes. After all that horrible, perceived horrible, I am quite ok. Better, in fact than most.

I. Am aware. Very aware of many things. And I am also aware that I channel what folks need most at the drop of a hat and don’t ask for a damn thing? And they seem to feel better for it. Some may take awhile to assimilate what I’ve said to them? But the words still do the trick they need from God through me. My Mama is no different. She’s a human and a soul and needs peace. I’ve felt her pain for years. I held it close. So I would never forget. I know my first mission would be her.

I never knew when? Or why? All I was trained to do was trust and obey the voices assigned to me, the angels, dragons, fairies, ancestors, and God is all of them. And God loves to be playful and funny. We must keep our head in the game and our hearts in God. Within. And without. God is all and all is God is what I’ve learned being me. In this special body, built from to passionate people, caught in God’s love spell, making me. Destiny knocks Mama up. Just like Mary. Except Mama got her Joseph, named Huey.

Yep. That’s exactly how I see it, that’s how God see it through me. God shot my Mama’s Ego through me. Not for hate? But for love. Nothing can exhaust itself up against the knowledge of God? Not Mama? And not me? I would not want to? I faltered one time when God told me to take my PBJ to a rest stop, for fear of looking silly? Oh, no! Did not do that again. I am Aldean a amazed that people don’t have a relationship like mine with God?

I guess being cut off from Mama did that? It made me latch on to the mainframe I call this world and god. All of it? Wide open to God. Like a baby bird. And no one told me not to? They really could have anyway? It’s that strong. And my bond to my Mama is strong too. I’ve tested it to prove it exists. To stop this madness of throwing babies all around without care? And then calling them crazy because we are different. Strange? Because we have language problems? That’s our fault?

We learned a specific language in utero. Hello!! And then had to go home with foreign speaking strangers with no introduction? Oh my folks we are blind if that is not even seen? Yes. This report is going to make us cry? It’s made me cry? God did not spare me that? I was my Mamas Jesus story? Her Christ she sacrificed for the betterment of this world. And she will see a better world before her time. She’s given all she had to God. No lie.

Mama and are learning this new language I speak. I’m teacher her about her daughter. Mind, body, and spirit. Her souls wants this most and she no quitter either. She’s my rock. I was crucified for years. The whole me was not visible until God said. I’ve carried the cross of my identity closely. Waiting like one army member in a Trojan horse of consciousness that when unleashed would activate with others like myself and change things radically in our minds. No violence needed thank you.

Mama did not see this because God withheld it from us both. We had ideas and visions and a feeling that it would all work out. And we had prayer. God is our compass. And God is all over this madness. And I love it. I’ve learned to stay out of God’s way when God is working a miracle. Like for real! Don’t mess with the cake while it baking! And don’t question the ingredients! Believe! And have faith! God’s not gonna let ya down. Ever. Even after 55+years!! God will not forget what was done. Rewards always come.

Many rewards are feelings of peace and joy. And many times it comes in a present or gift. But God is a rewarded of those who diligently seek God. And god is male and female. Ok? Both. Together. Bonded. United and not separate like we are here. That is our lesson? To join both half’s in ourselves. We each have male and female sides of the brain and a middle region called…..

cor·pus cal·lo·sum

ˌkôrpəs kəˈlōsəm/


1 a broad band of nerve fibers joining the two hemispheres of the brain.

This is where the two sides meet to converse. Like the gate of a city called the brain.

We need to understand this to progress and grow. We call it evolution. And yes. God evolves. And we are part of that consciousness called God.

God is real. Within us all. It is the spirit within the body. We don’t need to accept God Dom without? It’s more like an acceptance of God within? It’s a whole new way to see it. Better. More complete. And in line with everything and everyone.

None of this elitist clubs and doctrines. Love is the law here. If love is not what you feel your going the wrong way? God will bring you back to love. No fears needed. Grace is over everything.

Why would god hate God? Except to change a behavior that is not yielding results? I’ll explain more later. Try to maintain equilibrium between light and dark.

I’ve learned that dark times are tests. Light times are rewards from tests. And we all pass at our own speed. God knows us all. And we all are doing our best. But it’s time for us all to work for the other and not just ourselves.

It’s time to grow up and be adults and like God. We must take responsibility for our actions and learn to do better.

If I said nothing? Nothing would be learned and better?

There is no need to be physical. Words have power. Use your words to build love.

What you speak over another will come back to you.

This world is a feedback loop? It’s called cause and affect.

That’s what my Mama learned from my truth. Her cause had an affect.

She thought it was all bad and yet good came from it.

We all experiences this in life. We do something and get an affect. We either like it or we don’t? We solve for love? A feeling, a sense of well being is the affect we desire.

We learn what we do has affects? Many get stuck in an affect we don’t necessarily adore?

Mama did not like being separated from me? And we have changed because if it. For the better.

I’m her girl and she blown away. Like a rock in a wind storm. Air is symbolic of mind power. And God just used my experiences to hit Mama in her brain and dust that old part of herself that God loves. Off.

Because God loves all of us and we all need to get that message. Now. Why would God want to hurt my Mama? She’s hurt already? God wants to heal her? Especially that Mama heart of hers?

No. It’s not easy being honest. But here goes. This is the truth I learned growing up beyond all the pain I faced and pressed through for God. Following God.

Thank you for diving deep with me.

God bless you as the truth sinks in. Xoxo


I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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