Yes. I’ve had my losses

Everyone’s had losses. How do we know what a gain is if not knowing what a loss is? Loss is a part of life and expressing loss is part of adapting after loss to find the gain.

I’ve shared my losses here, so I could find the gain. I’ve found many gains. And the biggest gain has been the fact that no matter what life throws at me, I may be knocked down, but I always get back up and go again. And that’s a key to success. Keep going. Keep getting back up.

The latest thing I’ve learned is rest after a loss. I’ve learned that self-care is not pouting or pity. Self-care is to take time to heal from something. And that takes rest and mental reframing of the events to get beyond the feelings from the experiences. It’s tales prayer and someone to witness and listen genuinely to you, without pay, to truly process a loss and find the gain.

I look at the world today. And I take it in. And I see from my own experiences that self care was a choice I modeled to my children by taking care of myself so I could take care of them. I’ve need this much time to process such a loss as a Mama. And I am allowing myself to express the immense volumes of emotions from what I went through to live with such grief and to have to wait so long to express it?

Ugh. No one should be there. And yet while I have gone through my life journey and have found fresh mana to aid me along my way, in finding my feelings and validating them with words to help the world understand where unprocessed loss takes a child who’s grown into a woman.

I validate myself here for finding that way. I validate myself for being so brave. I validate myself for being who I want to see on this planet. Someone who’s a damn rock. Who can sink to the depth with you in your despair, and ground you back into yourself, and then float you to the surface for air, or if needed, sling you through the air to get you to the nest step. I am her.

And I really thought my own Mama would think I was cool as hell? Cuz I am cool as hell and I owe a lot of that to her DNA. And I give the devil his due. Even if the devil was my own Mama, I looked beyond the costume and say the angel.

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