What it looks like

What it looks like right now, as I have come out with my feelings to those who are linked to me, by either blood or paper, is that folks can’t see what Adoptees see. We have this vantage point that no one else does in this shoulda, woulda, coulda game with the life of children. We the Adoptees are pigeon holed into this forced VIP press box of an idea and must watch instead of participate.

Everyone’s got it all figure out for us and yet they don’t. I’d love to be grateful that no one even considered I would go home, or that neither of my Mamas even educated themselves about Adoption, nor considered the long term affects on me the child in this all? I’d love to be grateful. But gratefulness Will have to come when this job is done of teach folks a few lesson about being the adoptee in the middle of this ill planned plan.

Both my Mama now call me crazy and my eldest chimes in. How is this helpful? How is teamwork? When I work to right this and everyone yells at me to shut up? How is this helpful to those who those of us who’s lives have been rewritten by society with no regard to any of the facts I have mentioned here. Especially the fact that we go home. This point right here sticks Adoptees in the ass, we go home. And has become a craw in my throat. And there’s no ones preparing us, our families, or anyone for that matter for this fact if life’s circling affect. You know? What goes around comes around? Remember?

The side of the adoptee is at the for front of this flag ship. Without our input it is a pirate ship. Flying a flag of deception calling it something else. We do need to look at that and could focus energy into some well needed change by being brave enough to tell your Mamas like me.

I am sure no one wants my results. No one. So read and learn from me as I do what I’ve never done before and what no one except God is leading me to do. Go home. Really go home. And be a daughter to a woman who gave birth to me but did not raise me. We have much to learn from each other. And this should be a cause for celebration and not annoyance. For the one did not need the Shepard to go find her, she followed the Shepard’s voice back to her flock. This is a glory to God and no one is loosing a thing. Except an old way of thinking about it. And change is good. Always in the end when the air has been cleared and your still standing, and people can still see you knocking at their hearts door. And they realize. You came home for good.

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