This kind of love

I felt like this growing up. I did feel dejected by my Mama. And like I paid for my Daddy’s actions. And this breaking point is breaking me. It needs to be mended. I’m tired of paying for this. Lord. Break this pattern now. Stop this separation between Mama and me. Open her eyes and heart. Show her I am within her like some secret lover and need to be set free to be me.

This feel so much like unfinished business with my Mama and Dad. I feel like I am caught In The middle of this vendetta. Why would my own Mama want to break me? I guess she just can’t see? Lord. Help her see.

it feels like my Dad is trying to tell Mama he’s sorry. And to not make me pay for his mistakes. I was the innocent one created from it all. That Mama could really have a great gift from someone she felt wounded by, in me. The gift left from it all.

I met my Dad. And he blessed me and did not regret me. And maybe, god wants us to really practice forgiveness and show the world Gods amazing grace after it all. We can’t take it away as we see here. But just because all that happened, does not mean we can not build something from it that’s better?

Our old past sucks. I want a new one! Now! With my Mama in it this time please!! Thank you!!

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