I know, I have Mama out of her comfort zone, why? Because it not safe for her to be comfortable numb. How can anyone feel truly, if they can’t feel love towards their child? A child who is grown, and has traveled far to come back to her. It must be unnerving to have a person like me some back and say what I have said. I get it. I felt like that at two days old. I mean, as I lay in my new crib, I know, I wondered, what in the hell just happened to me?
Mama, God is not going to hide you from yourself in me forever. I mean there is no where you can hide from what God brings back around. And there is not reason to hide from me. There is no real reason that we should not be working on our relationship. There is not devil in this except our past, and I just confronted the past and flew it out of the water of our emotions. And its time to move on and we need to tie up our loose ends and squash this, not me or you.
If you are drinking a lot. Stop medicating, you are having an affect on me, because as you can see, I am connected to you. I will pray you get more sleep too. That is probably why I am so tired in the morning and have been resting so much. I get pooped a lot these days. And I feel tightness in my chest. If that is you Mama, slow down and stop beating yourself up. I get it, you did not see this part of what your decision put me into. Remember, that I am here writing about it proves, I made it, but we are not out of the woods yet. Our circle is a half moon until you relinquish control and yield to this vital stage in our relationships progress. Dont give up. Right now, I am deeply connected to you. Its like God has taken me back to our experience at my birth. Its birth energy that I am working to transmute. Mama’s affect their children and children affect there Mama’s. Let me have my positive affect on you. You are safe with me. You are safe now that I am home. No one can hurt you now. Words can not hurt you, but can light up the dark and gray areas that have seemed unseeable. God is good and even when all the bad comes up to be thrown away, God is still faithful.
Lord, send my Mama some good energy and some love today at church. Meet her there at church, or at home. Lord, send some good news to her heart and help it heal. Amen.
Hang in there Mama. We are almost there, I feel it. Keep praying and keep believing in the Lord.