People believe that being Adopted is like being born. It’s more like being born again and crammed into a suit that’s too small for ya. People think we have it all by the tail? But it’s the other way around.
It’s like everyone’s out of their element and no one can see. It’s like the blind being blind and leading others to be blind. Well it’s time we show them how blind we are. Let’s tell them what we felt all blindfolded and gaged. Show the world what it’s like to do it Adoptions way. And let’s teach the world a lesson or two from being blind. Feelings don’t lie.
People have told me that Adoption is nice. It’s so loving. How can people even say that? It’s beyond me. The only thing I can see is they have never lost anything that mattered to them to say something like that proves the world doesn’t get it. And we must show them and teach them what it means and Meant to ya to lose our Mamas. Foster care, human trafficking, adoption. The first and the last are the same as the middle. Human trafficking for what reason? Moral Dilemma? You don’t want to stain on your reputation? Meanness? Ignorance more like it.
Well, class is in session here at Psyche Cafe. Somethings need addressing. It’s time for some well needed updates to Adoptions claims to better the world. How many of us are there? To many. How many had families and no provisions to even keep you alive? To many. How many children are taken from third world countries to fulfill the dreams of those in countries that can fulfill the child’s needs and take them from their parents to do so and subsequently deny the child it’s most important need? Sounds kind of crazy when I write it like that huh? It is crazy.
Well. I saw three my blindfold. And I paid attention to every sound as I was quiet in Adoption class. Many many things need changing as I see it. We need a whole new paradigm shift on this idea. I can’t stand knowing that we actually have a mindset that believes a child is better without the parent than with them? And that we don’t even have education for all to be well rounded parents without stigma or prejudice around how the child was conceived.
How my Mama ended up in Adoptions mess I don’t know. But I am getting her out of it right now. I am her daughter. That statement nullifies all past contracts and ends the whole idea. I am Linda Marie’s daughter raised by a friend she never got a chance to meet and her name is Jean Ann. Fuck you Adoption your rules suck. I am going to make up my own rules where everyone wins!
How people think removing me from Mama was a win I’ll never get. I don’t want to go down that crazy road. I do know it’s not made life easier? It’s made it more complicated and given me way more characters in my life play. Try, trying to get to know a bazillion people your related to, all at once. That’s reunion. Trying getting to know people you never would have known if the world had not made up adoption and called it love and then set you off without even lunch? No instructions, medical history? Like what the hell who planes this idea? A man? Lord I apologize. But really.
It’s a nightmare to navigate and then to go home? Not even a reunion manual? The shame of it. My mama needed one I’ve had to do it all. My adopted friends and i tweet about it and are coming to a better resolves about the changes needed. We’ve all had enough of this nonsense. It’s makes no sense. Les sense after you’ve finally woken up about it and you see your still who you were before adoption and now you just have more work on rebounding with your Mama! Thanks. Thanks.
It’s like I haven’t had enough work finding with strangers, now I have to bond with my Mama who’s now strange. Whatever. Talk about a cluster fuck. Listen. I tell folks I am adopted because I know what’s strange about me is I am out of place. And I stick out. I’m Mamas girl with Mama Jean and I really don’t make sense to her either. And Mama can’t make sense of me cuz she’s all tangled up in some lies and ideas that keep her from seeing her own girl? Asking to climb aboard? Insanity I tell ya.
It’s a wonder I didn’t go mad. Brambles and biers and weeds a plenty. Adoptees have to weed through all the things their told to find the truth all along is, we are our parents children and that we should have no shame in that fact and Adoption makes us doubt ourselves coming from such a place as to have the idea that children are not safe with their own parents? We need to look at how we look at parents and how we judge others by our standards.
- Everyone always throws the drug addict abusive pedaphile card. Come on. I was molested and raised by an alcoholic woman who medicated herself for relief from anxiety. I was molested. At a young age by a close family friends son. I was a drug addict on all kinds of prescriptions to help me, why? They really didn’t know what was wrong with me? But I took a lot of meds. It’s any wonder god showed me how to nourish myself. The adults didn’t have a clue, they left out Mama and how I might feel about it beyond words. Children don’t lie. My body did not lie. I was so homesick.
- I wanted to tell them. But they seemed to be so intent on me staying and doing their best. But Best was Mama. For me. Best for them was for me to forget about Mama it I would spoil the show.
- I used to wake up in my crib at night and rock myself and talk to myself. We all know that’s a coping mechanism. Children rock themselves to comfort themselves. Why did I wake and need to comfort myself? Well, no ones asked me that? Good eye. I still wake in the middle of the night with a feeling of dread and sometimes scared, breathing heavy and upset.
- Medication can’t stop homesickness. But no one wanted to look at that possibility. That’s bridge was washed out and sealed in the county recorders office in my file, legally washed out. So coming home is against the law and I am a fugitive. Because morally it’s wrong to cut me off and we know that and can read my right as a child on the internet today to show it. But no ones policing for us to stay with Mama.
- What does society as a whole hope to accomplish by tear up families and building families out of strangers? Really. Can anyone answer that question?
- And why don’t we look at it like that? If it’s sounds bad it is? If I write it and it reads crazy, your Best believe that’s how it is and we society need to adjust our stand, not children’s locations. Lord Jesus help me get through. What is the point if it makes so much work later to take a child away from its Mama to have it working so hard to reform a bond that was perfect to start with? Tell me please?
- So no. Adoption is no walk in a park of any kind. It’s like the outer garden that’s filled with weeds that block you from your Mama.