Today my heart is heavy

Today my heart is heavy. I took a woman in on faith who was stranded in my home town where I was taken in? You feel me? Like it’s deep that pain I felt that when I see someone, I don’t care how old, how ugly, how jacked up, and turned around?, I must do something. Adoption changed me. Yes. And I KNOW the price that was paid for my life, it is written in the lines on my Mamas faced that look back at me to show the price they paid for me to be here. Oh, my life matters.

And what I do with it ultimately is my choice. I was taken in by a stranger. And she took up for me when my Mama could not and showed me her boundary when she left me with Mama Jean. Mama loved me so much that she could not even meet my new Mama. She could to face the woman who would take her place. She Had To Trust herself that said, I don’t have it in me, I don’t feel safe or that this child is safe in my care. People. Can you feel that? Heavy. Yes.

My Mama had to trust a God she really did not know that well and but her faith where her heart was concerned about me. That’s is a big step of faith folks. Oh, yeah. I threw the dirty laundry all over this world wide yard, sure. But you all need to know, that’s not really what I think now is it? No, it’s not. And I want it in black and white here for All to read, especially my Mamas. That I have deep respect for their sacrifices for this life I have. That’s why I am honest. It’s counts for something. God honors an honest heart.

Let’s be honest. People don’t think like I do. Except other somehow abandoned children. And it changes us for the better. Our wounds demand that we act and help those like ourselves. I don’t know if there is a study yet that substantiate the fact that we yearn to be of service and wish to be accepted and honored. And that our Mamas be honored too. So our Mama can be free to be truly proud of their hard earned sacrifices for our sake.

I’m done with this old shame on you bit! I’m done. You keep that shame! I am not ashamed! The world is ashamed because we have done nothing about it! I scream for all who know better to all that sleep!! Wake up! Listen. Learn. And grow! Do better is to grow! Why does not one seem to see this? I am not blind anymore! I found my mirror and she and he looked right back at me and I saw love! So much love.

Why in the hell does my Mama see anger anyone? She’s angry. Yes. Stuck in the angry stage of grief! Wake up people and pray for your Mama. And let’s channel her anger and do something! We who are grown can speak. No longer must we be silent as not to hurt. Look around you, we all are hurt already. See it as we all have the lines of failure on our faces each one. Have we give up on ourselves? My page is an inspiration to show what I faced and won to rise to this height. To be bold enough to show my scares and how I got them!

The scriptures say-

Ephesians 4:26 New King James Version (NKJV)

26 “Be angry, and do not sin”:[a] do not let the sun go down on your wrath,

My Mama has held her anger so long she could not see it. Except a perfect mirror be sent to allow her to look and see. Her eyes grew blind to the anger at having to say goodbye to me so long ago. It’s ok Mama. People are praying for you now Mama from all over the planet. I know the price you paid on your knees to God coveting me in your prayers!

I want to help this woman and get her off the streets. Who will help me do this? Who can trust God as much as my Mama did with no faith and a wing and prayer! Who? Anyone got something as big as a 25 year old woman in her prime with her back against the wall. Gave it to God!

Face yourself woman I came from. I approve.

Love. Your perfect mirror.

My paypal is

I need to get this woman I am truly helping off the streets in Redding. She has two sons. She’s cold and a good woman. She stayed with me for three days and was polite and well manures she’s been on the streets for 10 years people! The shame be on us all. What in the he’ll is the matter with people! I’ll tell you. Thanks for asking wise Belinda? Because no ones giving honest feedback! How in the hell are we going to grow when folks have to hide their truth? Drink their truth away cuz people want to eat cake? Come on.

I’ll say amen myself! Amen Belinda.

It takes all of us to do something. I need a house to help these woman! Yesterday please! I really want the mansion on Luriline rd. Many fundraisers can be had at this property. It’s a nice local and room for many sustainable things to help this thrive and to see true results. I need nurses and doctors that want to see this happen and have a true heart for people and not money. I need resources and food. I need prayer cuz this is a big of back to God for coming through for me and my Mamas. They worked hard to prepare me for this day.

Pray God provides for me to help this woman and more. And give what god lays on your heart to this cause of mine. And thanks for everything. I am grateful. Being a clean up crew member is not easy. Let’s do this and reap the rewards of a better place for us all to live and stop being so pessimistic! Like stop. You and me too must work for a better world. Complaining as you can see helps us see the missed marks, but we must now do something about it. Forgiveness. Yes. Holding grudges keeps you bound to an old energy and is unhealthy. As I have illustrated her as you watched my mental life unfold and change. As I therapied

myself before you all. And got better.

We must clean our vessels, our temples of all that no longer serves when we wish to do more. My pain with my Mama helped me just love everyone. And it hurts to love because not everyone loves themselves. Even when you show them by coming home and telling the truth. But that’s ok. I got plenty of love to go around thanks to God and Mamas prayers.

Take heart and please help me. She’s called twice while I have been writing this blog. Don’t make me let her down. It’s takes us all doing what’s right to make this difference for her. Please help me help her. Her names Dena. Please pray for a way a house. A place I can take her in and heal her soul. 10 years!! It’s time we practice Christ!! It’s time people

Must God send an orphan to beg from you still?

Oh glory lord. Let it be so that people step up I send for the angels to prick their hearts this day. Even those who don t read her. Send the angels of change to rip off the blindfolds so folks can see! Warm our hearts towards you again and again lord and let us not be weary in our well doing dear lord

Help us to be brave and be the workers who need not be ashamed at a wasteful people, biting trash, hiding our sins and missed marks from a God who sees all. Heal is all from this systemic psychosis. May we see reality as it is so we can make it reality as it should be for all. Let us not grow wary and faint from our task her as inhabitants of the planet. We have a purpose and this is just not it. We need to get over it and do better. Be better. For we know better.

Thank you to those who send me hope and help lord thank you for your provisions now. I am grateful for up saving grace and I know you will answer for it is you who called. I stand before all

Showing up for my job. Speak to hearts to answer your call through me to them. Amen.

Practice this scripture and learn what I learned. It’s works.

Luke 6:38

Verse (Click for Chapter)

New International Version

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

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