I am the girl next door, I just moved here from my Mama’s belly, be kind to her seed. That is how I felt the day she left. I hope they are kind to me. And for not really knowing what the hell these folks were trying to do with me?, they were as kind as they knew how to be. We have become kinder these days, and hopefully kinder after my truth is all out.
I was someones baby, before I was another ones baby. You see that little, I know, it seems little, like a mustard seed. You see that little bit of information that is just kind of over looked, looked over, not even validated. That is what denial does, over looks things, instead of facing them head on, saying something like, hello? Who are you, and why are you here would just spoil denials work. Denial is working int he hearts of us all, as we deny this and deny that. But from what my eyes of understanding show me, words do not express, its a feeling, a sensing, and a seeing of actions that tells another story. That is what we Adoptees see, the underlying story that has been painted over and looked over.
Birth is foundational to each childs experience here. How a child comes into this world affects there first and very impressionable memories of their experience here. And the energy that each child comes into is stored within their cellular memories, we call it the subconscious memory. I call it the body, the body remembers what the brain is unable to process until a day when it can be processed. For me it would take years to get there. Because you have to have words to describe it. And for me I felt it deeply, and had not learned words yet to express it.