My Mama must think me mad. To not get what I am saying to her.

This is the madness. That we go and are raised by people we have not come from and we come home to a family that’s so turned around and so full of bull they can’t see the writing that’s on the wall of my veins that screams family. Deaf to an alarm that sounded the day I went away. So loud and yet not heard for a heart has gone cold without the child who’s job was to keep it warm.

Go on. Call me mad because I don’t give up. Go on. I’ve a life time to rub your nose in it and a family so big now? That’s you won’t be able to deny it after we get through. I’m one of the warning shots. I am one of the ones who is sounding the alarm. It’s safe at last. Speak your truth we have your backs.

Take to the air and fire your truth at will. Victory is ours. And the truth can everyone free from bullshit we know is not true. Let the record state from our own hand about what we think about Adoption so change can happen. Let’s apply maya Angelou’s words and help the world do better after we show them the truth.

Mad is a strong word. Insane, well insanity is doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results. My Mama proves Adoptions a mess because she keeps blocking me. Who does that? What Mama in her right mind does that does not trust her daughter? I trust mine. I may waver. Yes. But I trust myself and trust that god in charge in the end. The flesh is weak and it rails and whines.

But I trust god with this crazy life my Mama gave me. It’s really only crazy if you think so really?

I do realize my post are a mix of many topics. I’m giving it to you straight up and no organizing it. Like you gave it to us back in the day. So. Mad. Whatever. I’m real. Why candy coat this shot pile. If my Mamas not calling me yet? What the hell is going on here? Not sure.

I’m going to go back to praying now that I have written this down. So I can let go and move on again. Letting go of a lot takes a minute. For me at least. I cared a lot. About questions unanswered? Didn’t you all? Just like a puzzle without all the pieces and pieces are hidden and now gone to our puzzle. I pray for us all and for myself as I show the world how much sense this makes and I hope all your heads hurt like ours have.

It’s a swirly life inside the brain of a child withheld their truth and fed on lies. Dont blame me. Ive done the beat I could just like my Mamas. Let’s just chalking up to another Epic fail on mans ideas how to be god.

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