Well? Something happened yesterday. I spent the day in prayer and blogged what came up. The day was quite profound and I felt a release.
I became quite sick last night and threw up. It was like some kind of purge of toxic energy. I’ve thrown up before, but this was quite different. I felt like I was in a trance and I got cold and clammy. My head felt heavy and my breathing was fast and short. And my ears were ringing. It felt like energy was coming into my body threw the top of my head and was forcing old toxic energy out of me.
I turned white and my daughter asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital. We did not. I just Road it out threw up my guts and wrenched like a true bitch. And I prayed. I called on god and the angels to help me not only throw up the food but also the energy of my old past.
It’s felt like my stomach was releasing the crackin from within. And I was so ready to say goodbye to that demon that haunted me my whole life. I just kept saying, ” I receive”. I said it over and over. I felt a release after the last upchuck. Goodbye. My daughter was so helpful and brought me water and a cold compress.
Funny thing was she was telling me about her purge right before I felt sick. Good thing too. Because I knew exactly what was happening. My body was letting it go, in fact it was expelling it and all connections to it. After yesterday’s blog post and all. I knew something had been broken loose. Praise God.
I slept like a baby and when I woke was surrounded by my loving animals who surrounded me on the bed. In the garage. Sometimes you have to connect to your Papas energy to help you fix it. Thanks Papa. The garage was his and I love that man.
When I woke today? Oh I felt it. Nothing. Good. And a new day. Somethings changed for me. For sure. And I pray for Mama too. Yesterday was important I feel for progress. I just barfed it all up on this page and let it go and let it rip.
What I am learning about birth energies like we Adoptees comes into is that to disperse is you must go there to disrupt an old pattern. I swallowed a lot of things as you have read. And now. They can hold me. I’m not all that. That’s just what was in my mind. Like demons trapped in a cell, I set them free.
I now have a whole new perspective of what a demon is. And a new hope for us all to release our own inner crackin. My prayer is the my crazy process can give you the strength to let yours out too and move on to be who you really are without the label, Adopted. We are our Mama Children always. May we all walk in that light, and embrace the unique people we have become because of it. And May our Mamas heal and see that they are not those woman anymore. May we all obtain a new day without families. And may God help us get there.
To our promised land.