Do you wish?

Do you wish to tear me apart? Do you? Wish to hold me where I can no longer be? Will you not allow me to be free of our old way? Will you not embrace who I am? Am I Not good enough for you Mama’s to see you’re tearing me apart and need to each come towards me and embrace. I am unable to let go of either of you? Do you not see I am connected to you both? Why do you try to make me chose?

Are we not evolved enough to be able recognize our family has been different for a while? And that Mama Jean is a member? You both are tearing me apart. And Mama Jeans sad because I can’t seem to get through to you and I don’t seem to get your hint? Wake up! I am speaking now! I have earned the right to speak! And the respect for you both to listen!

I could have run away and just disappeared somewhere? I could be living on the streets. I could be a prostitute. But I am not. I’m just me. Trying to talk to you two know it all. Things have changed around here if you haven’t notice? And I feel like we woman can do better and be better examples of the Adoption directional model. Would please join me in leading us into the future? Please.

Is that just to much to ask? Is that just to much? To ask? Have I not been good enough for you? Must I die playing the game only your two woman’s way? And you not even the same? So two games at once? That’s a lot of energy out put to keep it up like this.

this post came right before I cut the cord. I held space long enough. I don’t know if anyone else feels like this? But I have felt so boxed in being in the Adoption boxes with my Mamas and family. I’m not a box person and am so much more than what others think I am. And I realize that my family has a way different view of me, one I do not align with any longer.

I never really was in a box. I am way more than Adopted. And Adoption did not change anything except my name and geography and story. But I did not Change who I am Inside. And if my Mama and family can’t see that? I just can’t take anymore time to

Help them adjust. I got to live man.

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