Restoration

res·to·ra·tion

ˌrestəˈrāSH(ə)n/

noun

1 1.
the action of returning something to a former owner, place, or condition.”the restoration of Andrew’s sight”

2 synonyms:

3 repair, repairing, fixing, mending, refurbishment, reconditioning, rehabilitation, rebuilding, reconstruction, overhaul, redevelopment, renovation; informalrehab “the restoration of derelict housing”

4

5

6

7 2.
the return of a hereditary monarch to a throne, a head of state to government, or a regime to power.

8 synonyms:

9 reinstatement, reinstitution, reestablishment, reimposition, return “the restoration of democracy”

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Mark 10:14

From a child, god has always been who I went to when I was lonely and sad. From a child I went to God to seek love. From a child I went to god to lead me home to Mama.

Today. I blog here as I come home into my natural state, which is a lover of god. I follow God as God shows my Mama how much I love and miss her physical presence in my life.

My Mama is my light. Her prayers and love for God guide me as I clean up my act before her here.

The world threw a lot on me as the child of a woman who relinquished me. The world did not think Mama was so great giving me away and it grieves me that people think they can talk smack against my Mama, and think it does not hurt me, her child.

I live for God in this gutter. I shine my light as people throw trash on me for giving so many shits about her. People don’t understand the love I have for her. Just like my love for God, they don’t want me to love God. They want me to fail. I will not fail!! So they can gloat, and say,”she’s just trash like her Mama”

I slept in the garage last night. Because no one supports my love for God and my Mama. I withdrew to protect myself and my love for her. Sometimes, you have to make a radical statement to people who suck off you and tear you down. I’m back into a corner. And I cried out to the God I serve for help. Will Mama hear? Will she come to my aid? Yes. Mama will.

And you better watch out. Because she’s woke up and she’s not happy about how her gift given away was treated.

As I slowly, piece by piece explain my life to her. She’s sees. It’s is complicated and I work to honor both side of my heritage. And I damn anything that tries to keep my love for her in the gutter. She is the reason, her love and prayers are the reason I love God.

No one prays for me here. No one speaks words of comfort to me here. And I long even more for Mama.

I own my love for Mama. Own my pain for loosing here. Own that I believe in restoration from God.

Jeremiah 30:17 – For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, [saying], This [is] Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s