There is only one me and only one Mama for me. Only one Mama I came from that is. By this bold move my Mama made back in the sixties my truth is I have more than one Mama because the world helped raise me. The world helps all children get raised.
But my Mama gave away to gain. And gain she has. With equal and opposite force her gift came flying back up in her face. What was our issue? The issue was the seeds the world planted in us, that grew while we were apart and crowded our view of each other. Those seeds go logged in our brains and defied what god was doing with us, so, those ideas and seeds now weeds needed to be pruned away. Not killed. Because you can’t kill a weed.
Weeds brush weaker plants. And Mama and my garden of life was not tended and the weeds took over. There were many weeds of thought that we each chewed on for nourishment to pass the time in each of our incarcerations from each other. We were in a time out and each needed the weeds to survive until the day God restored our relationship so we could tend our relationship garden together. Mama was overwhelmed at the weeds. Faith called for stretching.
The weeds no longer fed us. And something had to happen. Now I have never had to fight for my position like this? But when backed into a corner, when fear made me face losing her again? I came out swinging and roaring? Take notice I roared!! You weeds must go!! My breath like a holy leaf blower cleared the air! Toot sweet! 4 years is nothing compared to eternity living with failing to win Mamas heart again and I worked to pump it back to life. I work to fill her with courage to love me again. Fully and not hidden. I work to make it safe for her to love me as deeply as I know she does and for her to have no restriction on her love for me. Not even from my dear sisters who have feared. Obviously. Why would they act like they have if not for fear?
I am my Mama girl. But I am not my Mama. I am from her and not exactly like her. I am different and yet the same. I utilize the gifts she gave me differently. And I get the job done.