I’m just a woman. And I’m just a human. I have been called Adopted as part of who I have been. And I’m just a spirit riding in a body called Belinda Jean. This body was made by a body with a spirit riding inside and her name is Linda.
And I’m just telling my story to the world. I mean why not? It’s just the story. And I loved it. Right now, I’m sitting at the table and my cat is making it hard for me to type. I am drinking hot lemon water. I had a great evening with my daughter and friend. My daughter and I spent the evening now turned into day together just sharing time with each other. We work to make memories together.
I’m just a spirit in a female body. I’m what they call a Woman, and a Mother because my Body has produced offspring. I feel more like a unit leader. I don’t seem to fit the usual Mother paradigm or predominant Idea of what a Mother is. My Mama made sure of that. I am tough. I let my kids fall and don’t stop them or nag them. I tell them and I show them with the life I live, how to fall down and get back up.
My kids have seen me at my worst. This is not my worst. My worst was when I was silent. Because in being silent, I became invisible. Silences changes nothing and makes it ok for the same old status quo to keep rolling along. I teach my kids with my life and my actions. And I am the highest friend to them. I speak my truth even if they don’t like it and that teaches them to do the same.
By being honest I demand the same from everyone. And it’s amazing what honesty can do. When you walk in your authentic self a magic happens and the world takes notice. I don’t have to play Adopted child and accept the status quo as given. I know better exists. It exists in my mind. And that is where all great ideas begin. In the mind we dream and see what we desire and then we see it in reality.
Right now I’m busting this egg shell around me that’s kept me hidden from view. I was shrouded in a shell called Adopted, but I am so much more. I’ve worn a label given to me at birth, but I am not my label, I lived a label but I am not the label.
Honesty is like rock solid. If you know where someone stands?, then you know where you begin and end. If people are silent it’s like bumping into a marshmallow. When did honesty go out of style? Honesty is classic. And truth subjective to the one who experiences it. We all have our take. Honesty is like salt, it purifies and preserves us. Let not the salt loose it’s savor.
I am just a woman who went through a lot who wanted her Mama to know. And I am proud of myself. Because I know how hard it was to type my truth up here. I know the price I paid for freedom. And anyone that’s yours is yours, no matter what you say, those kind of people just don’t let go and if they must, they will come back on there own and the connection will be better.
My Mama is a person like that. Let the record state that my Mamas true blue and cares for me deeply as a person she is connected to. But the old burden needed to be identified and let go of. By both of us and all of us for that matter. How do you let go of something that you have shared with another for so long, you don’t even notice it? For me? Speak truth to show Mama where I end and she begins.
And I keep showing up and writing notes on this worldwide wall for Mama to read and adjust. Folks we cant block change man? Come one. Change happens. And change bring a new promised land. And like the Israelites, we must keep steering towards the promised land. The promised land is a world with love, and a world of new possibilities. The promised land I seek is a world where Mamas are not cut off from us. My promised land is a land where Moms are not diverted from their calling. A land where Mamas have honor for the sacrifices they make for us. A land where sacrificing a child for their own freedom from sin is not needed. Today is a promised land and all we did yesterday built today. And today we build for tomorrow.
Prayer is the mind focused beyond the scope of the mind and sight. Faith in prayer is an allowing for divine intervention and connection. Living on universe that hangs in space and turns on a hidden axis is magical. It’s not so ridiculous to think of a miracle when you consider that fact.
Just what causes my family unit to stumble and bumble? I feel it’s the mind that gets in the way. It’s the mental construct of the old paradigm that this new paradigm bumps into. And the idea that folks can’t just talk about the different sides of a relationship, issue, situation without throwing a conniption seems ludicrous to me? And yet I have had to do just that to get some attention placed towards the change we Adoptees know needs to be.
Why would I come here and write if I did not wAnt or see another way? Seriously. Does my Mama have such a low opinion of herself that she feels her own child is some kind of rebel without a cause? Well. Look again Mama.
Here’s a definition of a paradigm.
a typical example or pattern of something; a model.”there is a new paradigm for public art in this country”
3 model, pattern, example, exemplar, template, standard, prototype, archetype “why should your sets of values be the paradigm for the rest of us?”
a set of linguistic items that form mutually exclusive choices in particular syntactic roles.”English determiners form a paradigm: we can say “a book” or “his book” but not “a his book.””
What Im busting up is the old paradigm. The one where I am crazy and she’s not my Mama so we can see the new one that’s actually always been but just painted over with lies.
Once a Mama always a Mama. End of discussion.
Now. Let move on. And let’s be who we are: which is children of our parents that have been raised by others and who wish to be reinstated back into our units of origin. We want to go home.
And in the going home we set a new president and we show how it is. Children go home. So why did we move them in the first place?