As I carve away at my Mama’s heart…

As I carve away at my Mama’s heart that is surround and incapsulated by a lie so deep that it’s down to the depths. So shrouded in shame, it stinks to high heaven. God never called a Mama to shame for her child’s creation. No. And if we can’t go home then whats the use of coming anyway? To be rejected and abandoned is not normal and is shrouded in deception and lies, so deep we call it love. There are so many layers of lies like paint on the walls. Each person paints it this way and that.

Is God impressed? Is God swayed? Or is God upset that we do this each day? Like what do we do? What are we doing? If the child is still thrown out with the bath water after the deed? One is precious and one deemed not, what is the point? Why can’t we stop! Look little Mama’s, you got sold, a deed of lies and snakes are what you hold. Dont worry we are strong, we made it this far. The light of your hearths are keeping us keeping on. Like sure we got sold and the deed is all done. But there is still time for this battle to be won.

God won’t save Mama from feeling this truth. God will not stop Mama from barfing up the lie. I can see it in her actions, when I look in her eyes. She’s got pain, but who can save her now? Jesus is in us and that all we need. For Jesus can save Mama, but she got to get to her knees and start praying for forgiveness at being done this way. She got to see that God wanted us to stay, right where God placed us. Why does she delay?

Are Mama’s ears not working, has her heart grown so cold? IS she sipping on rum and about to fold? Like what makes Mama tarry and what make her stay, in a relationship straight from hell and the devil who made? I can’t turn back now, Ive don’t told the deed. And only Jesus and Mama can back me this day. I want to seen as the precious child that I was and now a woman who smart as a judge.  Who can see whats going on if not us? Who can tell of this if not we?

I pray for our mouthes and that the wires be clipped, that bind us together and keep us from going home. Mama’s door is right there? But where is she when our weary legs want to fall? Is she praying no longer? Is her faith gotten so frail? Help me dear Jesus. I want to go home. Help me get through to Mama. Help me get through right now. There Ain’t no mountain high enough to keep me down, but sweet Jesus, I need your strength right now.

I am done living this lie in the making. I am not a child for the taking. I have right and I stand up and take whats mine. Mama’s my Mama and no one can erase that. It”s written in my blood and its written in my soul. I am taking back now, what the devil has stole. I shout it from here, as high as I can go. I want my Mama back, give me back what you stole. What you stole while I was a baby and had not voice to protest. What you stole from me long ago is what I want today. I want to start fresh.

I won’t take no for an answer, not blocking can stop, a love like this woman got. I will yell and scream, for my tongue is now loose. Give me back what you stole, or I will blow off the roof! I am done with a system shrouded in lies. I am done with a system that breads such despise. I don’t hate you, the people who needed so bad to have what God did not give, that you bought a big lie, and thought we just kids.We have memories of our womb, and we remember her heart beat.  I only wish, and pray for a day when children are safe to stay. And a day when all woman can birth from their own and children won’t be treated like puppy’s and left feeling cold and alone.

Mama’s matter. And I want mine. She a wonderful person, she just got told some big lies. Like a hook down her throat and into her gut, it rips as I pull it. But she’ll see soon enough what her girl is made of. She may see it now, but I’ll keep going on and on, till every child is safe to grow up with their own Mom.


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