What I am doing is….

I am using the tarot to allow God to help my Mama get out of her head and back into her heart. It’s not that she’s a bad person, or negative. It’s that for us to truly reunite like I KNOW Mama wants too, she need to get out of her head. What I mean by that is that Mamas so into the old story line that she’s struggling to see me as I truly am, which is without the old way Mamas looked at me and the way I came into her life and all that old stuff.

Tarot is a system that God showed me was ok. I have studied and allowed God to answer all my question and quiet all my fears about this system called Tarot. While doing this I shared my process with my Mama, who violently reacted to me delving into what the church calls the occult and evil. It’s is my intentions to dispel my Mamas fears about this as well and to bring freedom from fearing anything.

My Mama let go of me long ago in the physical sense. But a Mama like mine, a woman so deep, so sensual, so intuitive, never let go of me in the spiritual sense. How do I know this? I know this because I have eyes to see. And when I watch my Mamas reactions to things, I see what inside her mind and heart that tell me another story that wants to be written.

But for a new story to be written from our past together, it means she and I must face all that we went through, were told, what we believed,!and who we have become because if all of that. And I truly see, her heart of hearts. Her minds off track per say. And her advisers a bit biased. I want Mama to face this and know that I am still here for her at the end of our old. I hold my hand out and will say, ” now, let’s begin again and make that so what to us now.”

I wish to hold Mama and let her truly feel my love and feel hers beyond what was. A second chance is a gift that I wish to open. And with all these people trying to tell Mama and me what right, how can she hear her heart? She has beloved and lead to believe that I am no good. That is clear to see. And yet I laugh. Ha! So silly.

Do such people even know Mama? And who could even say a thing as that? I have a feeling who would. But that is for God and Mama to deal with. And by dealing with I mean setting straight. Maybe I’m doing that for Mama? Oh well, if the shoe fits, I’ll wear it. For Mama. She’s been through enough. True.

And my story doesn’t make it worse, it just light up and shows it was there at all. Right underneath my sisters noses, Mama went through so much. And only I knew and know to the depths of such a choice as she made for me. And she should know the truth and not be placated and patted on the head. She, I feel needed a slap on her face to wake her up to what she went through.

I knew when Phil passed it would be rough for here. And such a loss, touched another loss. And I want Mama to purge all she had because I can clearly see it’s in our way. I also can clearly see my sisters are having a time adjusting to me as well and I want them to process it all and for balance to be restore to our family. It’s a must. I know Mama well enough to know that for sure. I will not have her squeeze her hands of ringing them in prayer for us all.

Action. Mama needed my 411 to help make sense of what she was feeling. Who better than her child who went through it with her to help her? I had a hard time finding help like this? So I give it to Mama. She deserves some attention, even if it looks like hell at first. She needs my attention and care to help her see what happened to me. I mean seriously. Mama remembers everything. She’s like a fine tooth comb about us girls. She’s keen and cunning. And I appreciate that about her. And it time for her to get free and have a new beginning.

And good things are in the air pushing the old away.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s