If not for Mama in me.

I really don’t know where I would be. I really don’t know where any of us would be without Mamas DNA within each of us. Father DNa is there too. But not like Mama Dna.

Mama Dna is fierce. Father Dna feel passive, accepting. Like, “hey, yeah, I’m here, I’ve got your back girl.” Energy. Mother energy leads the train and shouts orders from every corner of the train. She’s a leader of the way. What way? We must learn what way.

Mother is the hearth to me. And Father is the fire keeping her glowing and warm. (If he’s smart) And the most powerful thing about Mother is she is our first consciousness of home and Source, God.

And I feel like children are like seeds. It’s like Mothers and Fathers have a purpose to achieve while in human form and children are off shoots with purposes linked to their parents purposes. And that children go on and continue to finish the work within them that was past from their parents.

One example of this extended purpose is say a child who ever comes an addiction or behavioral pattern. And that in the arriving of this pattern transmutation that it’s a win for the whole family unit. And that it’s felt throughout the whole family unit.

That’s kind of breaking a codependent habit, so a inner dependent habit can rise up. The old codependent way was not wrong per say, it’s was just a holding together until one person could transmute the energy and rise above to in fact, open a gate within the DNA that floods all who share that DNA. Freedom.

Martin Luther King blew up a gate of oppression that stemmed from the mind. He stormed the gates of our minds with the images of black people being harmed by white police in Selma. He force out hand and showed us his cards and the cards of all Black Americans. The hand was bad. He made us see beyond our own perceptions of what being black really means, to someone who’s skin is dark.

Thank God for Martins Mama and her DNA that strengthened him to do his part with the purpose extended to him through his DNA. He picked up the Bataan and ran with it. He set the world on fire with his Bataan and we took notice. He infected us with a new perspective. Thank God. But for the Grace of god go we.

But if not for My Mama DNA in me, I would not write her today. Her seed in me was a strong one. I believe I came here to be adopted. And that the experiences was so earth shaking and traumatic that I would not nor could not recommended it to anyone! That is my assessment. Excuse me if your research is different.

But remember this: I have people each day that read my blog who see and know wha I speak of. People who have walked where I just showed you I have walked and they are gaining strength for their voices to speak. My Mothers prayers and theirs will be answered through us, their children, their seeds. For they gave all. Away.

And God took us all up. And held ya close, even if we did not feel like God was. God held us all, and kept us all alone, so we could one day speak and change this nonsense. Adoption today is nonsense. It’s was nonsense the first adoption happened. I refute that God adopts is! God makes us. We are always God’s.

But we, learn to see that. We learn to yield to the dance these bodies and minds do with the God within us. The spirit that is us, just in different bodies. It’s deep. And it takes time with God to see what I convey to you.

There is a people who are visible and yet invisible at the same time. They are slaves in their own right and walk the planets without proper documentation. They are nomads without rim not reasoning to where they came from. There stories rewritten in time by an ignorant few. These people are all colors, for this savagery does not care what color they are, only that they walk with nothing to show for who they came from.

The people I speak of are forced into a slavery so subtle that we call it love. We call separation love. We call abandonment of ones post given to one from God alone. Like 1:35- The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.

We all are sons and daughters of God. That’s the point of the scripture.

God is not selective. We all are the representation of Jesus. We all have Jesus potential. Jesus represents freedom. Jesus transmuted energy the day he hung on the cross for all our sins. Yet we struggle to assimilate it.

Why did we make Jesus do that for our sins? What’s the point god was making to us? To worship Jesus? Or to practice Jesus? They killed Jesus because of what he said. Because he spoke his truth about people and things. And powerful people,within God’s church ordered him to die so their sins would be covered and not exposed.

Why do we need to crucify anyone? And yet we do. Still. Adopted children are crucified for their parents sins. Sins that are not sins. Procreation is Still God’s idea. God started that idea. We must learn the lesson. We tell the same old stories day in and day out. From the same perspective as gossip. Practice makes perfect, not just being able to read it by rote.

The Bible is a code book. Just like every other book written with spiritual content. Deciding to understand its meaning is the highest ideal.

Chaining a dog to a pole and leaving it there is cruel. And yet Adoption does just that. We know who our mistress is and she been taken from us. It is a subtle cruelty and yet very dark and twisted. Adoptees feel this pull towards home and yet chains of intimidation and assumption are placed around us. We struggle to loose ourselves only to find our Mother bound as well.

We see her and yet she can no longer respond. As if the alarm buttons broken and she’s so used to the sound she does not even notice. Until you come home to her. And then she thinks it’s you. But you just strengthened its volume. To wake her from a slumber of illusions that she believed could keep you from her.

I admit to such an urge. And I am proud of such a bond. I fought for such a bond. And my connection to her is deep and goes beyond the paining separation. Our bond was forged through a painful act. And I work to rid us both of this traumatic energy. For it must go. I am connected to her heart. Mine leaps within me at that thought of her coming, her presence.

Leaving a child is a nightmare. And I aim to make it a blessing. I aim to set us both free. Love is given. It can not be withheld if one wishes to see the blessing. My mamas being called to practice what she reads. With me. I’ve tested her. She sees what she must do. I work to help dispel any doubts and fears of my family that I mean no harm and that the harm was already done. That Mama shows signs of this trauma by her actions.

Actions do speak loudly. And from what I’ve seen is Mamas got her hands full with what the girls seem to be thinking about me. She worries. Like duh. What Mama doesn’t worry. I get that. And I want Mama to have what every Mama wasn’t. A good relationship with all her daughters who work to get along and care for one another.

Adoption is a twisted game. And it twisted our minds into thinking it’s natural when it’s not. It’s fake. It’s a man made idea for a moral mental dilemma that we interpreted wrong. It’s a mental constrained on procreation. It’s deems some children as less than ideal for birth and keeping?

Albert Einstein would not have made it in todays world. Society would have pluck him away from His already over worked Mama and adopted him away to a stranger. We would have never known his name or associated it with greatness. His life path would have been different. Would it have made him who we know today? I shutter to think.

When I Child is left we go into fight or flight mode. We feel unsafe. Because the Mother unit of assignment is key to our well being. I’ve worked for years to help my well being. And I basically resurrected my Mama within me from memories from my time with her. It’s plain to see how much I resemble her and have her manor. That fact is amazing to me.

When I met her it was like water to a dry sponge. Me the sponge. And I could see myself in her so well. Many adoptee comment on this one thing. Facial recognition and mannerisms. It’s uncanny how much I see pieces of Mama that grew in me and what I did with them. I am not a woman who was raised in the 1940’s or 50’s. I was raised during a time of change and chaos. The world was confused and men and woman unsafe. And yet a time Of much hope for a brighter future.

I came from that time. And change for Adoptees is now. As we point out arrows of truth at what we know to be a lie. We burn it down with our testimony. We transform it with our words that refute what was said about what Adoption is.

Moses was forever changed the day his Mama sent him on the river. But she never let go of him really. Mothers never do. Any Mother that says she does? Is lying to protect. And the question would then be, “what?, what do you protect by saying a lie to yourself that every woman knows is a lie?”.

The ego is a friend. And ego can take the hit. When we see the cards are different than we wanted. We must accept it. Mama gave me away. She did not realize the affect it would have on me. The research had not been reported yet. I report my research. Other adoptees courageously report theirs so we can wake folks up from a dream.

There should be no reason for a woman to have to Adopt her child away. And there should always be a reunion plan. Always. Private adoptions are cruelty to the be left in the dark, chained to an ideal that is flawed. I love Mama Jean. I don’t like that I can’t have both my Mamas in my life and have them get me.

I work for enlightenment for us all. I talk about the hard stuff so we can move forward with ease. People get ideas and not all ideas are founded in truth. Look back in time. Slavery was an idea. The slave owners thought it was a great idea. The slaves knew different. Being treated like property. Adoption, the way it is is a close cousin to slavery in the most deceptive way.

And we must face the tune and change it.

I came to change it.

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