I feel that many adoptive parents fall prey to the idea that adopting a child is JUST like having your own.
Fact- it is not.
I also feel many who adopted get upset when they see that they are not, and in their own delusion keep trying to cram their adopted child into their idea of who they should be.
Fact- many adoptive parents do this, very unaware at what they are doing this to their Adopted child. Adopted folks. Key word. Remember it.
Stop trying to make a child jump through hoops for your own delusions. We are not yours. We are our own.
Fact- you know when you take a child you adopted home, that you just invited that child’s Mother and Father home with them. They are in your child’s dna coding. That can’t be changed.
Fact- Adoptive parents should be more grateful and show it to the Adoptee and speak it about their parents. You would not even have the experience of parenting if not for the woman who relinquished and the child you now try to call your own. Remember where your blessing came from.
Fact- many people speak ill of the parents that relinquished. If I heard it once, I have heard it a millions times, “Her Mom was on drug.” It makes me cringe for the child standing their hearing her own Mama put down.
Fact- It’s abusive to speak ill of your adopted Child’s beginning and Parents. Stop. You owe the life you now live to the Parents that gave and the child who now make your dream come true while their has been crushed by YOUR OWN HANDS, as you signed the papers that would separate them from their home.
Fact- gratitude begins at home. If your Adopted Child mirrors ungratefulness, look at yourself. Why did you adopt? Did you unconsciously somehow get yourself thinking they were there to stroke your ego? To have a child worship you? Or to make a difference in a child’s life?
Fact- REMEMBER, AND NEVER FORGET. your adopted child lost her parents so you could parent them. Do better. Be better. And teach them better. Help them feel proud to be adopted. And proud their parents gave the highest gift on earth to you to enjoy and be a parent.