What’s so telling is how many likes my blog posts have gotten. Not many considering that my subject matter runs most off at the get go. And that’s what I illustrate by telling my story, no one wants to even read the whole thing, it’s so pain filled and disturbing. And that’s just perfect. Because it shows me back, how hard this life was for me.
My experiences is like being raped as a child and experiencing how adults treated me when I tried to speak about my feelings, about my Mama. No one wanted to look at my heart and what was ailing it. No one wanted to look at what was done to me. Like rape, no one wanted, and continues to not want to look me in the face and see what was done to me.
The people who like my post, like because I hit a point that this blog is helping me dial into. Pain. So heavy. So disturbing and disruptive that it caused me to be disturbed enough to write about it. Remember the days when you didn’t like something and you wrote the company to complain? And remember when they did something about it? Yeah. That’s me. Writing to My Mama to tell her what she has feared all along, that she hurt us.
And hurt must be recognized to be healed. God can not heal us if we are unable to bow and ask for help. I am allowing God to use me to speak to Mamas all over the planet. I allow God yo send me the pain of my brothers and sisters, and I pray for the words that will change this worlds thinking about us, the children of adoption. We need you. We need our Mamas. We need our heritage to ground into this world and you took it and hid it from us, while YOU have yours!!
What kind of humanity is that? This is a slight on Adoptees. Would you like me to take your certificate of birth from you? And would you like me to change your name, physical place of residence? I wonder if anyone reading this that’s not adopted can even fathom what that feels like? Or does anyone even try to walk in our shoes that are way to small. Way small and confining.
Adoption excludes many people that are so important to a Child’s development. A child’s right is to have access to all biological parents. And yet? This standard is not even practiced. It’s like a book to the Bible no one reads, because it’s not what they want, and yet they need. Adoption is an energy of exclusivity. It’s like amputation of the family. It’s a hard blow to the language center of our brains. It’s hard to navigate.
What else can I say to change your mind? I’ve shown you what I went through. My Mama Blocked me. That’s proof enough to show, Adoption a racket. Adoptions a fair weather friend in the end, when baby come Home.
Because, Adoptions an illusion that makes you feel like your fresh and clean and yet is poisoning our way of life by crippling children because Adoption separates us from our unit. And the natural design is for child and Mother to stay together. Death is our only escape. The proof is that I came home. And sent Adoption packing. I am still my Mamas child, but raised by another, I now call Mom and feel a kinship with her. I did that. Yes. I built that relationship with her. Just like I work with my own Mama yo have.
Thanks for diving deep with me.