The winds of adversity have blown through my life. Like all wind storms they have a beginning and an end. God has blown on me like a fierce wind storm. Gods spirit has blown through my being and has cast all my cares to the winds of change. I am reborn. I am new. This is my testament.
This blog shows you, in raw,scrabbled details. Like a soldier radioing ahead or behind. The bombs crashed as I tried to make sense. Taking with me only what Mama gave me. Wadding in the deep waters of sorrow, I swam. I never lost sit or who’s I was, and who I came from, and through, and to whom I was sent.
To tell my tale is to be real. To tell how it felt is to write as I go back and relive it before you. As I allow my inner child to babble what she swallowed, just as she experienced it. It’s was raw, and real, and yet no words to describe. It took me years to find those words that would pack the punch of what I felt and what my children felt, and what my Mothers felt. And that my whole family feels. And yet knows not what to do? Except block and the like.
And I’ve got the recipe. It’s right here, it’s all of us. See, life kind of stinks like this. And everyone’s trying to figure out where the smells coming from. The smell is the old elephant in the room that’s rotting, like our lives from living this old way. It’s time for change.
What’s that look like? I hate this.
Well, this is what it looks like to me.
Communication. Real and honest.
Maybe we cry. And let it all out.
Maybe we cook and drink. And cry some more. And hug. A lot.
Cards and letters of love in the mail to each other.
Bonfires and marshmallow roasts. I’m a lot like Mama that way.
Camping. Laughing. Making memories in this shit pile, so we can grow a new garden!
Baking. Holidays. Enjoying each other. Fighting. At long last. With your sister. Who fights fair.
Sharing. Praying. Reading scriptures to Mama on Christmas.
And loving Mama Jean like family. Because she is. I will stake my life on it.
Because she did on mine.
I wave my wand of magic. I pray a prayer. I have faith. I believe in miracles. I believe in a God who love me as I am and wants our highest good. And I jump for the brass ring.
Which for me is;
Two Mamas that rock. Equally. And yet differently.
We all suck from time to time. But what really sucks is when we don’t change.
This is how I do it.
If I don’t like it. I change it. I do the work to make it happen. I talk about the hard stuff. I work to bring change. I keep going. Till it’s done. Till people can see what I see. On the horizon.
Out new ship has come in.
Thanks for diving deep with me.
I love you Mama’s.