I mean, I am writing here to point out something I see from my view point. My view is valid. It is not definitive or binding. I see my family struggling to get what I am doing here. I see my Mama reeling from all directions and deflecting it onto me. And I’m ok with a
Little projection if it helps people see. But this is ridiculous. They say it takes two to tango and this is a conga line. We all are in this family line dancing our way to the throne. And I can stand a lot. But I am just done. And being done means with this behavior, not my family. Like duh.
This is fixable. This is adjustable and not rigid. Holding onto what I’ve said locks ya I. The old pattern I just threw away!! Put that down! It’s like picking up teach someone threw putt thinking it’s worth something? Drop it? Don’t keep rehearing what I said like I am still there. Because I am not. I do have to keep coming back here because you all set up camp and are singing kumbaya and making s’mores!! Seriously folks snap out of it! That’s what I am saying.
Yeah it sucked. And this happened and that happened and yes I see it all and am still showing up. Like hello! Jello. Wow! I moved on long ago too. But this shit between us needs sorting and no sorters are showing up and it for our own family? WTH? Chelsie must be horrified to look at all of us. And her dear Mama working to change it. It’s so complex and there are so many side and perspective.
But my truth wipes their all out. I lived this truth. But I’m there there anymore. Evidently you felt my story deeply. I get that. So did I. And I share it like I felt it or you loose the whole story and the punch of how it was. I made it work and over cake all these odds you have taken so personally. I took Adoption and abandonment very seriously. And I am working to do something about it, instead of staying where I was.
I held onto this because I wanted to tell my Mama. Somethings need to be shared with her. And I have two now. So they both need an update. Why my Mama has not gotten in her car to come see me is beyond me? She’s holding onto my words and using them to keep from changing to see her reward. There is a reward you know? You all do read the Bible? Right? And watch tv? Every story has a resolve. Will we reach ours.
I feel like I am on ninja warrior for Adoptees. And our optical course is kicking our butts. We seem to be having an issue coming together? And I’m just like why? And they are like, this, this, this. Like you haven’t gotten me at all? My story shows the odds of faced to coming home. I came home. So I don’t hold that as my truth. But you all do. I’m free. Look at you?
I love all of you. And not just nicely nicely. For real. I am a warrior. I am strong and work for truth and strong family ties. Let’s get it together. It’s time to work for what we want!! The way back is gone. The new is right in front of us. Take my hand. Let’s go!!