Talked to Mama today and tried to explain myself. But she she just can’t see. And letting go of what your Mama thinks of you is hard. But I must. She’s determined to cut me out again so what can I do but accept it.
I guess. I didn’t believe it was for real the first time. With all we say about Mamas, surely this must be wrong that she has so many conditions to her love. She can hate me for blogging her as she takes everyone else words but mine written here. As others take mybwords and twists them into their own interpretations and feed them to her. What’s a girl to do with that kind of heat?
I’ve done all I know to get through and yet Mamas still on that old train of thought. Even though I’ve been extremely transparent with everyone here. She still can’t see. And I imagine gods got something to do with that. So. I must accept it. Mamas just not up for it. Mamas not having t. Well. I’ll give her what she wants.
But blogging about it is not up for discussion. If I can’t talk to her I’ll write here. So. Guess I made my decision already by going public with my thoughts. So. That’s it folks. Some Mamas just don’t give a rip. So a stranger has to do it. I never gave Mama references so I imagine she won’t accept me anyway. Like she did Mama Jean.
So sad indeed. So much promise I had. So much hope in God. But I forgot one thing. She sold me to the devil. So. I guess he’s my father now.
Devil bless you.