As the holiday season come near, I want each adoptee that comes here to read my life unfolding to be encouraged. I want you to know, I may not be right there with you, and may not have gone through what you did exactly, but I care about you. Yes. You.
I may not know your name or know your face, but I know your spirit and I can feel what you’ve been through. It feels like my heart has been inner twined with us all. And the frequency is garbled as we each work to make sense of it all. But we shall. Don’t give up for one moment on yourself or your Mama. She did her best and I know, it many times felt like not enough. We each have been stretched in many ways by adoption.
And Christmas is a time for family and many of us are still cut off from home, Mama, and closure. And it’s my prayer that this will change. It’s my prayer that my voice will pierce the veil of consciousness and understanding of what we experienced being adopted and that it’s a mixed bag of experiences. For me my trauma was being cut off to my soul in Mama form.
And going home to look into the eyes of the one I was made from was nonnegotiable. God called me home to wake me the fuck up to the truth I was removed from so I could build a better truth beyond my Mama idea if who I was, and let her look at herself in me and what that part of her became, because of her cause, this is me, and the affect it had on me.
Now Mama can say this and that about. By in the end it’s me who says. That’s just her opinion about me. I have way more to draw from than hers. But I am grateful for god allowing me a good long look at who she had become because of her choice. It’s grounded me in who I am beyond her opinion and Mama Jeans.
I think every Mama goes through this stage. My Mamas and me took a while. Or I took a while to figure it out. Each child takes flight. And they soar beyond our Mamas wildest dreams. As long as she doesn’t try to treat us like a chicken. And my own Babies have flown away and back again. And I am proud of each of them and have forgiven any hurt feelings during the process. It’s hard breaking away. And yet Mamas hold on tight until your strong enough to break free. That’s the beauty right there.
Mamas make us strong. So don’t give up. Take care of yourself this Christmas season. A high price was paid for our lives. Take the lemons and make lemonade. I’ve shared mine with you and this is my lemonade stand. It’s ok. You lost someone special. Grieve that loss. Give yourself permission to speak freely. Embrace those who embrace you even though you grieve. I am embracing you here in words from my heart as a sister in this world.
You are strong enough to live this life. Your experienced can help change things for the better.
Thanks for diving deep with today.
And help some needy people this season will ya? Give and it shall be give unto you. Try it out and see.