They say… ” Once a Mother, always a Mother”, right? But I want to say this..::
“Once a daughter/son, always a daughter/ son”
And with that written. I claim my daughterhood to a woman who did not get me, did not keep me, and yet loved me. And I claim my daughterhood to a woman who could show up with all these odds to love me anyway, and who loves me more. Than my own Mama! If you are not sure about a love and test it, what’s left when the flames of truth fire, are true. I must accept my Mamas limitation of love for me. Her love gave me life. Mama Jean gave me nourishment and healing to grow beyond my own Mamas dreams of what I ultimately would become.
- Mama Jean may not have bore me or been able to submit her body to God for its creation. But she my Mama. Inside her body that’s not like mine, is my Mama.
- She has struggled with me.
- We have struggled to bond beyond our DNA.
This was the last step of my integration. Not to let go of her. But to make room for her by letting this old love go. Mama was a dream. She is not real except within Mama Jean. I see her there and not in the one I came from. It’s strange and yet a comfort. The more I tell, and let go, the closer she gets to me. So my old truth was in our way. Mama, was in our way. And we all need to purge an old negative to illuminate a positive. And Mama Jean and I have a good foundation now. It’s on truth. Mine. At long last is out. And its heading back towards Mama. Because it was her truth spoken over a child that grew in her for another. She should not have seen me the way she did. I obviously was for another. Why not treat me better? Why not teach me better for her? She did not even know her name? And with every fiber of my being, I know she did not treat me well and my body has suffered fo her lack of care. And that’s. Just not ok. So she must pay for that. I don’t know the price or the way. But she will pay for that over sight. Karma. Always wins.
- Thanks for diving deep with me today
God bless. I let you close enough to feel my Love. But. You will not have it for God cur you off. Not me. God brought me close so you could see what came to be from Your idea of a mess. I am no ones mess.