Being adopted feels like being abducted. With the rules as they are, with no recognition of the child’s need for their own Mama, it feels like prison. I am sending out a battle cry to those who have ears to hear. We are called home. If you feel the same? Then send out your battle cry. What cry is that? Your truth.
To say that I feel like a child in a bubble is an understatement. I have needs that Adoption did not fill. My Mama is that need. And if I may remind everyone, we never out grow our Mama. And this does not replace the one I was sent to, but now includes the one I was given from. She has always been a part of me and always will be. is what I seek. I am not governed by adoption rules any longer, but by the law of biology and an unforced decision to merge the two that have made me as I am.
As is, the adopted child is not supported in their trek towards home. As is, we are left blind to our ultimate truth because of adoption perimeters. And I have broken tank with those who chose to stay the same. And I stand self validated before you all. I refuse to deny either of my Mamas credit and responsibility of who I am. And they should neither feel bad. They should find the silver lining as I had to alone. But they need not do it alone. I don’t return favors as given. I educate.
Adoption, as it is, is a black hole of ignorance. And we the ones it’s supposedly designed for have been left in that pit of darkness to long. I light up the darkness with my light of truth so my Mamas can see what they could not for lack of context and understanding about how adopted children feel under such a law as this. Adoption forever severs is But does not ever cut us out of a family. We get drug through it all with our hearts hanging out. If Mamas don’t want their babies back? What’s the use of sex? Pleasure? What pleasure is there in creating and then distorting what was created by calling it a mistake? I wonder? Is God impressed with our recreation of Gods work? Does God love it when we paint over what was made for Our own ideas? Adoption is an idea. And it came from an ignorant place to begin with. Because many are very ignorant to what it causes the children who are marked. Adopted. I have always wanted to go home. But was denied access and information to do so growing up. I was distracted. And misinformed. And turned around and around until I was dizzy. It’s taken me years to sort it all out. Fact and fiction. I weighed it against my own hard earned facts if experiences to weed them out. I feel we all have been looking into a mirror of ruse. A blotched mirror that reflects a world confused itself about it all. People say this. People do that. And from what they do, to what they say?, is quite a bit of space. Actions speak louder than words. I act like a woman who’s Got two Mamas and two Mamas that act like I am not. Adoption says I am one woman’s child and yet shows me I am not. DNA says I am the child of one woman and yet I am not. Who’s am I? I’ll tell you my own person who’s got two unit leaders. Plain and simple.One gave and one took. And now I give and take. It’s my turn to say. And I have included them both. No exclusivity here. I hate exclusivity. We are all included in Gods supper. We just need to accept the invite and go. Would not God want us all to be at the table together? God made us all? So, I see Adoptions rules getting in the way. So I threw them Out the door on their ear!
I am gonna make up my own rules thank you. I can do that. I am doing that with my own truth to Guide me to a better place than this. My kids deserve better. The world Deserves better. My Mama deserve better. They just can’t see it yet it’s really Never been done like this. And I am no quitter. If God calls me to do a job, I see it through. With word and deed.
I go see my Mama and say I am not going back. That’s right. I’m not going back to that. I will
Have better than that. And it takes time and patients and education to get better. Mama doesn’t no better and I am teaching her. She rigid fro. Years of holding herself like this. Her hands are calcified to an old way and my truth is the vinegar to clean that away. And my love is the oil and the wine for the wound. My truth cuts the cancer adoption grew between us. And healing is happening as my Mamas heart sees the light of my day and my love shining bright upon her. My love heals her.
Tough love heals. Tough love wins. Always. Mamas not had such a tough love. She gave it away for another to have and now it’s come back. Love wins. So I win by loving my Mama enough to change her mind about it. I have systematically and precisely hit her wounds dead on with the scalpel of love. I made a cut. Deep Into her soul. And now. Now. Now. She can heal. As her truth flies away with my words of release she sees me more clearly and herself for that matter.
She forgot what she said when I was born. Come find me. That’s what she said. Wake me from this dream. And so I have. Xo
Thanks for diving deep with me as I excavate my Mamas love from deep within me, so she can see in her perfect mirror how much she truly does love me.