I think of my sister as I do what no one seemed to want me to do. I think of her sacrifice and her struggles as she lives on without her child. I got ya sis. This sister will not leave you where adoption left you even if you can not see beyond the wall that confine you. I can.
And what I see is beautiful and healing. What I see is a better way for us all. And I am brave enough to rage against the norm or taught to lead us all into a new day. Because I love you enough to tell you that where you are is a dead end. And because I am willing to turn you around before you fall prey to an old way. Maybe I have done it abruptly. But danger is danger. Weather you can see it or not. I will not let you loose your soul.
And I work to show you something Mama could not see. And I am willing to speak up and do the work needed for you to be ready for your new day, that will come. And I know. Shame is a hard energy. But there is no shame unless you say so. And facing this is hard. But that why you need to thank God for me. Your sister. Who’s lived a life as an adoptee and come home to help us all heal.
Please be angry not with me. And be angry not with God. All is learning. And choices we make always get a second chance. We got this in the bag. I am your best friend in this and I am helping you face what Mama struggles to face herself and can’t lead you too. Mama got pretty upset at me when I mentioned you. So she loves you very much and I see how important this is to us all. Just because Mama can’t see doesn’t mean God can’t.
Look at us. Our family with me. Is this what you want you boy to experience? No. You don’t. But what do we do? Well that’s what I am telling us all. Following Gods lead down a dark road that needs light for those who travel it. You are special. You are worthy. You are my sister for god sake. Just because I was adopted does not diminish my care for you as my sister. And I feel God had me call you first for a reason. That God has a plan for us all.
Healing is Hods nature. But we must submit to the hand of God even when we don’t completely understand what’s going on and our pain is triggered. Mama showed me. To protect you is to educate you. It means walking along side and helping you step safely and securely into the chapter that will come. You will be ready. You have my word. And I stand on the word. So. Hold on. Be strong. I am here to help. We all are hurt already.
I am just as much a sister to you as my other sisters. Maybe more. For I know the price I have paid not having you all to help me. Walking this life alone. Longing for you all like I have. I can feel your heart. You brain says, “this can not be, how is this possible, what does she want?” I say, “ healing, wholeness, family, connection.” And for my sister to be all she can be. I see a you that you don’t even see. Beyond all this. Potential. Possibility. An amazing woman who is vibrant and alive who deserves all.
And what I propose is work. But you are no stranger to that. I can see that. But truth set us free when we face it. All that People think and all that you have felt is important to the Lord. God would not want you to fall and no receive you blessing for sharing what was made from you with another. God sent him to you first. A blessing still even though their has been loss. god restores what was lost if we have faith.
I know. I am maybe strange. But I am no stranger. I am blood of blood and bone of bone. I can scale the wall of skepticism that you have about me and my methods. God know your number and gave it to me. Cuz I don’t back down when folks need help and can’t see the forrest for the trees. God sees what we can not. I just follow. God leads. Trust me. I came back to help even if you all have nightmares about who I am. God will quite those fears. As we test what is.
I pray for you. I send love to you. I know. It’s so strange, right? How can it be? This woman loves me? How? She doesn’t even know me or so you thought. But I nailed Mama. Meaning I hit every button. How did I know her buttons? Or triggers? Hmmm? Maybe because she is my Mama too? And I love God too. Like you. So. With God all things are possible. I do take a risk to speak about you. True. But risks come with rewards to those who faint not.
I love you. Sister. You can take that to the bank.