There are two parts of me that simultaneously exist; one part fully encompassed in loss and the other partially encompassed in gain. I live well in the joy of my gains, but that joy doesn’t heal the wounds my losses inflicted.

I’ve faithfully been embraced by the family I was adopted into and no amount of love has ever been withheld. As it pertains to attempts to heal the wound, though, it isn’t enough to provide safety and love.

Those are two crucial components to good family life, but for adoptees, so much more is missing, so much more has been cut from us. Attempts to heal the wound are futile which is why adoptees must be provided space to grieve. Any possibility of partial healing derives from acknowledging the loss before rejoicing in any gain.

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