As I sit here and type….my reality that’s been unearthed…

As I sit here and type….my reality that’s been unearthed and propelled out of me like a demon ejected by the light of Christ, I am grateful God knows all and is all, and that I am loved despite what society calls irrational, erratic, outlandish, many times labeled mean, rude and crazy. I am grateful for a God who has loved me while I carried all that and did not know how to get rid of it. I am blessed God came to me, and sent the devil to me, and sent me to the devils camp where I grew up a everybody’s, and nobody’s, and watched the world go by on their own little lane that is wide as hell and leads to its gates.

The narrow path is this road I take. As I do as Jesus did, spoke truth many did not want to hear, and did not receive, and also did not evolve and were left behind. Many religions today are stagnant ponds of consciousness of God and many tell stories, and not truths. Many preachers today, speak their own version, alone of truth and miss the crumbs, Jesus told us about. If we all sit at Gods table, then why is anyone eating crumbs? If God is ours, and we are Gods, whatever you call the energy that is all here, then why do we act like we do? I mean, fighting, wars, marriage, gay, straight, cultures, people, color, race, whatever are we so upset at? I told you what I was angry about, what is your message of anger? We all have one, we stuff it, and it burns us up, or we let it out and it burns away dross? What shall we do with all this anger?

Shall we stab at each other? or shall we stab at the ignorance we have of each other? Like, “Hello! I am adopted, what are  you upset about and yet grateful for? I am climbing this mountain, what is yours? Can I help you with that? You have something over here, let me get that. I used to have that too, your welcome. It makes me feel better to make it better for you, its like a domino affect I do, each day, each person, each soul, each, each each.”, “As I go to Mama’s house, she gonna just love what I am doing, she may not believe this, but I’ll make her see. She’s not used to me, but I’ll grow on her again”. “She just loves wild things, and can’t keep away from a real bargain, and she will simply love what Ive done with this body God gave me from her once I get to her hearts door again, where I came from.”” She’s gonna love how many people I have helped, she loves to be of service, I don’t think she thought I would bloom in a gutter, but Jesus said take care of the least of this, and so I do.

It truly is like getting naked to tell your naked truth. And isn’t that the way we came? And we should just stay that way, so others can live and learn. As we share our sides and form new bonds with others we don’t understand and learn how to communicate in each unique language that we all have, the entire planet evolves and quickens in our progression. That is the thing about Capitalism, it has a cap. And we are all running around chasing money, and hoarding money, and recording how and who is at the top of the heap, like people are starving and we are loosing this race called humanity. And we all need a frying pan experience sometimes, to wake that crap out and shake us from complacency and indifference to that fact that we are part of the whole that is this planet.

How are we not seeing the earth herself speak to us? How are we still standing in defiant rage agains the very earth we all come from? I say this to myself each day. Mama ain’t heard no preaching like this girl does. But this little orpan anne has been around the block, watching a lot playing the silent game, much like Maya  Angelou..God rest her soul as we carry on in her stead and she has left a big impression that many must fulfill. She embodies the essence of Change herself and sings a melody to guide us back home to ourselves, so we can heal what we ourselves have wounded. Mama Earth. That is probably why I am truly so upset, as she cries and bleeds for us to grow and just bury trash in her, and bomb her belly, that heats us. I guess a 60’s girls would come in kind of concerned as she grew up watching the new in her play pen no doubt, watching Martin, John, and others work towards Change and progression, of all Man kind as they presented their unique perspective and worked to channel the predominant consciousness that was what we were back then. Still not seeing much and birthing new ideas and the war of old and new raged, like the wars today. I wonder, what are those who threaten saying to us?

If this is a Ying and Yang place as we seem to all agree in some way or another, then why do we all run in the darkness and not shed our lights? Like truth is light, a perspective, and view that is valid, even if it is a negative. Negatives lead us to work for positive, that is the polarity here. They are energies, christians call them demons and angels, they are energies, we are energies her, so are the elements, and things made from them, all energies. And God is energy, this planet is energy, we measure it, heat, wind, rain, earth quakes, typhoons, whatever. And yet do we wonder why the elements are so upset these day? Do we even look at ourselves? And take assessment to our energies?

The notion of being nice has to change as I see it. Nice is not necessarily good, nor is it true.  And we could be working more on being authentic. I love Anne of Green Gables, she was an orphan and though I was never called an orphan growing up, I just realized at some point that I was and just went there to heal. And in Anne of Green Gables, there is part were Racheal Lynn has said something very sharp and cutting to Anne with an E. And Anne has upset Marilla, and as she said, brought shame to her name by her outburst. Rachael Lynn said, very loudly, and quite shockingly, that Annes hair was red as carrots, and a few other things that deeply hit Annes wounds, and Anne swung back at her with a few choice words, said very pointedly at her own perceived weakness and hit home. Rachael Lynn went home all rumpled, and Marilla has to figure out how to respect Annes feelings while teaching her the language of her world, so Anne could maneuver and thrive in her new world, while confronting her most definitely understood defensiveness and unyielding ability to stick up for herself, and yet needed refining.

Well, the part I am leading you up to, you have to watch it to really get what I am trying to show you. You Anne of Green Gable lovers are probably already their with me. Mathew, Marillas brother, they are two old maids, or one janitor and a maid. Anyway, and Mathew goes to Anne even though he said her would not interfere, and talked her into staying and finding a way to turn it around. And Anne did, and yet found that way, to be unique and authentic to herself and to apologize for her part in the cuffuffle. And Anne was accepted. She had made her first adjustment into her new world, she still was a odd girl, and very sensitive. She strived to rise to all she could be. She fed off Marilla and Mathews love, and thrived despite her very tormented beginning that was pledged with loss and disruptions as she was moved her and there like a jersey cow to work for this one and that one. Just to survive.

There are so many parts of that movie that validated many feelings I myself had. That movies was truly healing to me and very helpful in my own journey to discovery of my own self. As I sit here and type, I reflect on all the Anne Of Green Gables movies I fed my children and lets not mention that super Mom in, Gilmore Girls to help them see other sides, where Mama’s rise above and keep their babies despite family pressures. As I planted seeds unknowingly following my own hungers, I fed these ideas in them, or God made it stick. And I feel these ideas grow in them and help them to try to bridge this gap with me by being the best they can. Can we help it Mama’s so picky? I mean whatever Mama. I’d take you in a mud puddle. Seriously.

Well, that seemed a bit better balanced, I can see that writing is having a good affect on my attitude as I air out all that made me angry or cry, we all got to clean out that room, you can’t take that stuff to heaven on earth. Why have we believed it wasn’t is my question and seen that we are the ones that can’t seem to manage very well and get along. What do we do, really to save people? WE are so eager to kill, and yet can’t see we can all learn, if we will listen to what sounds like madness, before it gets to far, we all contribute to the state of the affairs here. Each energies and each valuable. Especially Mama’s, and Mama Earth first, as we love our Mama’s. I do love both of mine, even if I don’t always agree with them.. In the end, they see the blessing in me.. I make sure of it. God makes sure I do..LOL for sure.

Very responsible job being an adoptee..

Thanks for diving deep with me today..

God bless your road, remember, the journey matters if we want to go to the best destination. OK?

Love ya.

Enjoy this picture and small poem..below


I feel the call to solemn silence as I enter natures gates.

The tree beckon me to listen to their song

With a melody of earths own magical sound

I am brought back to myself anew

Belinda Gayheart-Arnold

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