Ok. That’s the deal. If Mama ain’t happy? Ain’t nobody happy! Ok. So get to it. Mama can’t go on living without me? So we got to build this bridge. I’ve got part started. And the old one down. But we got to Get to work building the new.
Everyone’s got a part. Yes. We all do. And it’s time we decide what those parts will be? I certainly hope the villain can go? Like no more villains. Ok! Like we are family and don’t need no villains in the house. But what kind of sister do You really want to be and see? This shits Got to go! And it’s time we show up to start the new chapter. Vicki, you’re the book worm. We need a good story line. It’s time for our new day as a family. This sucks. And it will suck until Mamas Alarm systems been deactivated. She’s just overwhelmed and you all are going the other direction. Like away and not towards her daughter, your sister.
How in the hell do you think it feels that you all are acting like you know what to really do? Mamas watching all of you. Vicki fight for the old. Go away she says. Phyliss and Liz? Indifferent. Emotions abandonment about it. How do you think Mama feels about your actions and lack of actions? Do you really think she happy? Vicki yelling and calling her sister such names? Now knowing that they all have done just that to each other? Vicki lied. They went at it a few times. Lengthy. Not short like she tried to say.
Cuz I am not backing down. And I sure shut you ass up didn’t I Victoria? Mama noticed that I can hold my own and still hug her and kiss her goodbye. Yeah. She watching me and all of you. And how you are treating me. And that I am a piece of you and so, you all are telling on yourselves. Showing Mama who’s got issues with me, her baby. Not very nice or good. That is fucked up. Cuz your hurting Mama by doing me like this. Yep. Better check yourselves before you wreck yourselves. Some people have become comfortable and don’t want to share.
I have shared myself with two woman. Loving them both was difficult. I wanted Mama and to go home. But I worked with the shit she gave me and added it to my garden of life and made it grow. Yep. I took Mamas shit and put it in the ground and nourishes my roots to make them grow Back to her. So I could bloom for her!! Yes. She’s who I came from. I am her gift by god! Hers. I choose!! I choose now!! And you bitches best get out of my way! Get out of our way. What’s happening with us is beautiful! It’s natural. And it’s God’s will for us. Get out of Mamas head with your cheap ass advice! Fuck you! You don’t deserve her!!
SHE IS MY MAMA TOO! Got me? Or do I need to go future? Is this the attention you want from me? Cuz I can keep going. Ask Miss Chelsie Lynn? She knows when Mamas has enough! And Mamas had enough. This family will do this for my Mama, our Mama! She deserves to have all her chicks in the nest and under her wing. And you all are just stupid. Dumb. If you can’t see that. Your all crazy. Ok. Cra cra.
Call me crazy. Look at yourselves and how you are doing Mama right by acting like you all are acting or not acting for Liz and Phyliss. Hmm. A shame indeed. Like I drive like bat to go and see her and spend time with her and work things out and you just want to cock block me? You didn’t know the cock that made me. He was fine. And a good man as men are. He found his way because of Mama. She helped him. You sick ass bitches! Yeah. So what she made a baby and gave it way! She didn’t know what else to do. I get it Mama. That doesn’t take away how hard that choice was for us both. K.
I’ll tell you what Crazy is? Driving my raggedy ass all the way up there to have my own sister be so rude and not even try to understand what’s happening with me and Mama. That’s crazy! Think I am just going to shrivel up and blow away? Oh. You don’t know Mama now do you? No. Think I will even stay for more and more of your poison, telling me I am the only reason Chelsie’s having trouble! Look at yourselves! You can love her and not me? You can offer help to DAVID and proclaim not for me? Wtf. WTH. Wwld? Not that.
You think you can just blow into Mamas house and disgrace what God made from that woman? Put her down in Mamas house? I apologize Mama for standing up for myself and addressing her. I thought I was a guest. I have not been treated like that as a guest, and I am done being treated like shit in my own Mamas home. But I realized. I am apart of this family too when you didn’t tell me to stop. I want to Thank you for that. I saw that. Thank you. For letting us both vent. That was ugly. We can do better. It’s take us all. You are right.
I wanted to give Chelsie our family together so bad on her birthday. I want Chelsie and DAVID and Angela to know their family. But they don’t think they want to. They watch me working and keep seeing the shit show. But they need to know that this is our family. And if we want it better? We must heal what’s broken that makes us this way. We must bridge this gap.
I hope Mama thought I was beautiful that day. Cuz I thought she was too. Even her morning hair and robe. Perfect. Helping them with the table cloth was nice too. A simple task that I just ate up. Yum yum. And hearing god’s word on the radio. Comforting. And Mama spoon feeding us as she takes all she can in for us. I love that. So amazing. Thank you Mama. You are a rock. I just see better. On the horizon like the sun coming up after the rain and storms have past. I can taste the clean air and feel the suns rays shine down and warm our cold places inside us.
And I can see what Mama dreamed of, what God saw in her that she gave away and came back. A free bird, gifted, and an arrow to hit the mark Mama missed.
Thanks for diving deep with me.
Love you Mama.