Mama Jean has been like water swirling around my broken heart. Lovingly stitching herself into the holes and binding each wound as best she could with the love God gave her for me and Mama.
And I am grateful this blogging and talking has made ya closer. And that her love has give me the strength to face my past with Mama and tell the truth so we can Change. So she can be seen as the angel she is. Past all we went through banging around like a couple of old maid in that folding bed we all made with Mama.
Mama Jean signed up. Mama Jean did her best. And Mama Jean always knew I would search for you. She got that. And she carved a place with us. She bridged the gap in me to you. And gave me strength to face it and build for real. To be bold and burn that old thing down and dare to cross with courage and love. To forge as she did into me and share it with you. To extend the cup of grace back to you in this sacred communion of our souls. Three are we. Father son and holy spirits connected in this tree built on paper, we burn!! Lighting the sky!! And e stand within the flames like shadrach meshach and abendego. Or however you spell that. Ugh. You get me. They made it through the fire. This is our fire. I am burning us at the spiritual stake if you will. I am clearing our slate. Publicly. I push the buttons one last time for old time sake. Just so ya know I knew they were there. To prove to you who I am. Be-Linda. Yep.
And now the alarm is off. And the silence of it reveals a beating heart. Still beating. And still my Mama. After all this time. I am still yours. The baby you shared with another. So she could learn a little about you. Oh yeah. You inside me taught her a lot about life and God. And she taught me much about the world and tradition. And we are blessed. I chose her and she chose me, and I chose you and well? She’s not going anywhere and I don’t like leaving friends out of the loop. Just my thing. Everyone counts.
I learned that growing up. That if people know they count, they will do great things. Mama Jean has done great things with me and helping my life. She’s making deviled eggs right now and I got her good. She’s really neat about putting things away while you cook? Yeah. Like wash the spoon your using to stir the stew? Yeah a real joker. So I automatically put the ground mustard back before she uses it. She was like,”now where did that ground mustard go? I know I took it out.” And I realized I had put it away and pulled a Mama Jean on Mama Jean. Lol. She’s cool.
We must have a ceremony. To lay all this to rest. And not forget and to remember and reflect at what’s done. And tell the story. So all can see. God restoration is real. He’s ways are crazy to us. But god sees the big picture. And if we follow, god will lead and teach us why along the way to our most highest expression. Full circle. Closure. Redemption. Grace in action.
For God so loved us. That he gave his life. So that we might live. In graces freedom. I scorn you not. I mirror to you your own scorn. I listened to your own scorn of yourself. The redeemer lives. But what is grace if not used. What is faith if flabby? We each work out our own salvation. And I am a helpful little cus. That helps share my side, and get folks to share there. So we all can see. And teach our children to do the same. It makes the load lighter. And ours was heavy and I feel like I was praying you and me out of that. Killing the old as we ascended. Like some warrior God possessed. Chopping and writing what came to cut away what was our old story. You just didn’t get the memo.
Seriously woman. I work for God. Ask Chelsie if you really don’t believe me. Ask her. Why do you think she’s like that? Well. You are. I am. We all are at some level. Gives. I am God trained. Like John the Baptist. Hello? Do you think that’s just some story? God’s not dead, your looking at the wrong people if you think that. That’s what I want to show you!! I am excited. It’s going to set you back on fire even more!! What’s ahead. Ohhhhhh. Squeal!
Hey. I am fortunate. You let me in and made me
Coffee. Thank God for my Golden boy ticket. And that I knew how. And brought the ticket with me! Lol. Where is that senes of humor gone? Did I get it all? Well, here. Have some back. Ok? You seem a bit low. Me too. But let’s not stay here. This place is a mess now. I burned all that no longer served. Lite up was does. It’s leading us out. You do believe in vision still? Don’t you? Well. Dust that off and get ready for the down load.
Angela and I have been working. Chelsie and DAVID too. For this miracle. Xo I guess the girls?? Have been doing? Well. I am sure they have some stories. Hopefully.
I must say. I was shocked you came at me so Hard about Liz. It surprised me. But it meant a lot. How about showing me some of that protective love? Lioness? She’s hurt. I know her buttons too. And she needs to heal. And I can help. Cuz she’s my long lost sister for god Sake. I can’t have her get like you now Can I? No offense. But seriously. Go Liz is avoiding me. She’s avoiding her own truth. She’s watching us and learning a lot. She will be ready when the time comes.
She needs to know the temp in the world about bio Mamas and all. She’s needs to be prepared. There is no need to stay ignorant and get blindsided like you. Is there? I can and will help her mightily. My prayers are for her and all my sisters. No matter how indifferent and nasty they may be. I still keep coming back. But this time! Yeah. Well that was me. Don’t even think you are going to bring that high school Squash mode down of this righteous bitch. And not get a rebuke and a reframe. So. Let’s call it good. I really don’t think we need to see the other end of that knife with me. Or maybe you need some snips her and there? Whatever. Just don’t expect me to just lay down like some dog. I am no dog except for God.
Fortunate doesn’t mean we just accept the Status quo? It means we realize the potential before you and work to make them grow. Roses grow better if pruned regularly. So do we. We needed pruning. I got pruned. A lot.
Thanks for swimming deep with me today.