I was reading the book Primal Wound. And in the front is the weirdest thing. A copy right that states that no portion of the book can be shared. Now I found this a bit odd? A self help book that is bound by a copy right law that prohibits sharing? Now how is that helpful? Like how is that helpful to a nation of children already cut off from help and wandering around trying to find relief?
Like if I want to quote a sentence, or chapter that speaks to me? I can’t. If I want to quote passages that back up what I have felt for years? I am still restricted. And the restriction come from a book that’s supposed to help myself and the world understand adoption? Seems a bit odd and yet the same. When will this stop? When will people writing books see that they cut many off from the validation they seek?
The book is about the research from a person who has an adopted child and yet the copy right blocks ya from being able to share. Only those who buy it can read, but only share so others can buy? How is this helpful? How? Must we search in vein? Just to be blocked again? There are those that can’t buy the book. There are those who need the validation in and on the pages. And yet. This is what we do. Block.
Primal Wound is one of the most validating books I’ve read. The first page made me breakdown. Because it spoke straight into the heart I hid to keep it safe. And yet. For capitalism it’s protected? From what? Folks learning and growing? Yes. From folks getting the validation they seek? Yeah. Only if we fill the pockets of the writer, may we peer in? And obtain the validation we need? Yes. I paid my due for validation. But why? If this book is truly for my benefit and my Adoptee friends? Why put such a restriction? For personal gain? On our pain? Seems so odd. And yet true.
I feel we all need to look at the price we all pay for withholding vital intel and research from those who need it so we can gain. Maybe find a better way. So all can learn and grow and not be restricted. Primal wound is restricted by its own author. And yet Adoptees need light on their dark places. So they can see and read, that they are not alone. And that what they feel has been seen and recorded.
I just feel we really need to change how we are doing things so everyone can learn and grow. Especially children cut off from their families that want to be reunited.
You know. When a wound heals there is a closure created and a mark left to show. The body works to create new skin to bring the wound to healing. And Mama and I have wounds that call us to allow God to work and bring healing. Our wounds are open and god’s calling us to heal. God the supreme healer calls us to allow the physicians hands to cut away what festers, so that nature can take her course to heal and close this wound between us.
I will obey that call. I don’t care who calls me Crazy. Crazy is to not care. Crazy is to just gimp along like always. Crazy is to walk away and just leave the mess. Crazy is to call someone Crazy that you obviously don’t understand. I remember a man. His name was Phil. He asked questions. He was wise. And if I learned one thing from him it was ask questions and look for the answer. As Mama. Look for her answer. Don’t give up on her. Stand and fight if you must. But don’t leave her side. Keep asking the questions until she can answer. Even if her answers are painful. Keep going. Don’t give up on her.
He saw something in Mama. And I must see. So I ask the questions to learn where her heads at so I can lead her out of that dark cold lonely place that is without me. Her daughter. Her child. Her friend.
Thanks for diving deep with me today.
Many walk the smooth wide road. But few walk the rough narrow road. Home is in your heart. Mamas part of my home. God made my heart from her flesh and her blood. And yet I’ve filled my heart with love for many. Two woman especially. Two woman that never met and yet hold the hand of a child. And they are tearing me apart as I am incapable of letting go of something that I am forever connected to. Children are always connected to their Mamas. Always. I’ve forged two relationships with two Mamas. They both matter.