As I blog and I tweet, a connection is made between Adoptees and the world. And a web affect is forming and becoming visible as we give flight to our struggle so everyone can see the ripple affect adoptions had on us and learn.
On Twitter I connect to Adoptees and their pages. I write on hash tag. #adoptionreality, to link post to post. Any post about adoptee truths being shared. No judgement. No shame. No guilt. This is what we all have gone through at different levels and intensities. We all have been through a changer and an evolution. And our truth will evolve the planet. After the shock wears off. And the dust settles, our truth will change how we look at ourselves and our off spring. And it will change how we use these free wills that cost us all.
We are the Jesus’s of the day. Crucified by a society that deemed our Mothers to hell for not conceiving properly and that has still not helped the barren woman conceive her own! Why must we do it like this? And. No answer is right. It’s an excuse to just keep on doing more of the same. And we can do better. For them all. And the children that just want to go home, but can’t bring their new Mama cuz, well, why? Seems like everyone wins but us? And adoptions soooo for us. Right? Not. It’s for folks that just can’t wait and those who can’t have faith for what God’s delivering.
My Mama thinks she can run me? Well. Mama Jean doesn’t even run me. I run me. I matter. And we all matter. And all should be heard and understood. Not just one or the other. All are valid. But the question is this- what do we all want? Strife? Arguing? Escapism, delusion, defeatism, dictatorship? Or cooperation? What about that one? But what does that mean?
Well. Co means more than one. And operate? Well that’s like a machine. And if everyone’s going all over and can’t see that where we all are is a dead end? Well let me say. DEAD END. TURN AROUND. My Mamas have become
Comfortable with the realities they have created with me. Very. And I am not comfortable with these two opposing realities any longer and am stepping up to be the change I WANT YO SEE. I had to change at two days old and learn it all again with a woman not like the one I came from. That’s what my Mama wanted. She got that.
And Mama Jean was willing to pick up where she left off. And now I would like a complete family thank you very much. And one that is a bit better to me. No one considers how this all affects me to have to witness and experience. To have to watch the fracture continue through my own children is bet upsetting to watch. To see my own sister fight for what? Who knows. Our Mama? Does she even know that woman if she can’t take me? Does she even know herself if she can’t take me? Like Mama his this from you all and you think you know her? Seriously.
The way I see it, if you can’t accept me? You don’t get all of her. Cuz I am in there. Each child is like a piece of their Mama. And I am a piece. A precious piece. She keeps track of numbers. She allows unwelcome guest in and makes them coffee. She accept their gifts. Even if she doesn’t understand them. She opens the door in her robe and let me, the one you said was unwelcome in. So put that in your pipe and smoke it miss Victoria.
I may not enjoy how you keep trying to squash me. I guess you all fight demons all day. I guess talking smack talk is the only weapon you have to fight who you think I am to you all. But I see something you seem to not. It’s on the horizon of the death I seek of an old way. Yep. An old way that was an illusion for a time. My Mama had four babies. Not just three.
And my voice is being heard.
Thanks for diving deep with me.