Being removed from your Mamas life is hurtful. And Adoptees first real trauma is just that. And it’s pain and confusion and dismay. After years of being poo poo’d. The pain is like an app left open, that just runs in the background, like white noise. We get used to the pain. We don’t realize that our wound is wide open. We don’t see that we are hurt, because it just how we’ve always felt. So we think that the pain is from others. And it not.
What I have learned it this. We tell ourselves their is no pain. We lie. We stuff. We cope. We deny. It’s all we know. Many of us have not gotten counseling. Hell counselors don’t know what to do for us? Many of us are misdiagnosed and speaks years chasing this ailment or that. And so after years? We are just running in circles around and around an issue so deep we can’t even see.
We’ve been drinking the sour juice of relinquishment so long we don’t even know we’ve been poisoned guys. That’s the deal. If I can run an adoptee off with my words? That’s the proof I am see it right. If my words, the words of an adoptee elicit a strong emotional response? Well ask yourself why? Why in the hell, would I a wounded adoptee, intentionally hurt another wounded adoptee? Could it be my words are so on point that they stab at your pain? That’s is what I see.
It’s the fact that my words point directly to the pain within you. A very nice woman and I engaged in conversation yesterday, and another adoptee got offended by my words. The woman I tweeted with got a little upset? But I tweeted to explain and she saw that and apologized. But the other guy was all lite with PTSD. And began attacking me because he felt attacked. That’s Adoption trauma for you. It’s so deep. So old. So invisible? We. The one with the wound? Can’t even see it. That’s the rub. We need to see it. We need to claim it. If we wish to transcend. It’s a must. Facing it head on is the only way. It’s like you have to embrace the pain before it subsides. The pain is a beacon that went off long ago. It’s message si
Okey says to us? Off course. Seek hone. Seek Mama. Seek Family. And speak truth or stay the same. That what I see. And that’s what I do. And I do see that my pain subsides when I stay true to that call.
I’ve been trying to tell folks for years. But no one sees. Not even my own Mama sees. She’s blind as a bat. And my words are her only hope and her only cure. Time will
Show it. Time is on our side. Our voices have a vibration. Our pain is a vibration. And it must reach the air where signals get sent so people can feel it and change. Truth bring change. Trust that.
Our truth is the medicine for this sick societal idea called adoption. People pleasing just keeps the old status quo. Truth. Like ours when fired at will? Changes the whole recipe and shows folks the sour juice they fed us by thinking that this was an ultimate solution. It’s not.
And I am done with drinking sour juice and sucking it up. Change is here. I can taste its sweetness. A world where all children are safe is the sweet spot I seek. And the pain we carry is the sucker punch needed to blow it out of the sour water we were left in.
It upsets me that adoptees can’t see this. But I am not angry with them. I was one of them. I did not know what was really bothering me until I went within and really let my in re child speak to me and give me to truth I hid from
I love my Mama. And no amount of adoptive this or that can change that. It’s in me to love her. Even if she hates me and is very misinformed. It’s just how God makes us. And that’s the power of DNA. Use it. Stop denying it. Embrace it, it’s what made you. Stand up for your Mama and come clean is the only way.