As I write this my vision is being weird. I imagine the stress of coming out has taken a toll on my body. I have been at this nonstop. That’s how important it is to me. It’s like a weird visual distortion in my right eye. Hopefully it’s not a stroke coming to call?
My Mama could see my need because the lies she was told were Blocking her view. She felt it, the truth beyond the lie. Yes. But she had not really seen that her Instincts were right. Now she faced with the truth she has always felt about me. And she faces now with no veil to hide behind for God has allowed me to expose her for healing is hers. Her prayers are being answered. Just not how she thought. She can run full force at me. And I will embrace her whole heartedly. That’s my truth.
And it’s time to burn this old bridge that connected she and I. Because the connection has been our grief and loss. And we don’t need that energy anymore. Its time to grab a new ring. And It’s a free fall. We just have to jump. And we just need to trust God will provide the net.
This is all simple Christian practice of faith and trust and obedience. I am obeying my heart. Which tells me who my Mama is. And I am trusting my gut that leads me to her. That’s natural. And I refuse to deny it any longer. Professing my love for her has been a long road for me to find my voice and do that. I have made it to the top and shout it from here. When I am gone. My words still ring true and shed a light on a dark place for all who tread into Adoptions arena.
That’s why I speak the things I do. To shed light on this most precious subject. And all who have discouraged me will bow at me when I have succeeded at winning my Mamas heart again. I will look all who have damned my name and drug my name down to my Mama, in their own efforts to climb the ladder over me. You will see. And know who I am.
And that sounds threatening but is only an admittance that I have a plan that God has given me and I just follow. God will make what I do happen because I trust God and follow. Even if folks say I am crazy. Because I know what God showed me and God will reveal this to all as I blog in public.
To you who read a watch. I speak for you too. So that your voice can be more easily heard. So your families will Learn and educate themselves and open their hearts to bring you back into the fold you came from. Take care.
God sees what we see. And God is helping us all find our voices to speak the unspeakable that we hold. Take heart. Help is within our grasp.