Meet me on twitter. Let’s #adoptionreality. And show folks the truth. Speak your truth and hashtag it so all can see our tweets that tell the story they can’t see. Our story about it matters if we want to change it.
Voices are worth nothing if kept silent. The grave can not change it for us. And to not give the negative feedback keeps it going. We must speak. We must united the noose that society placed around our Necks out of ignorance of the truth about babies and their Mamas.
Your pain shows the truth. It shows that we were not disconnected, but were and still are connected to our Mamas and families. We have only been moved. We are still family except our families are brainwashed into thinking that we are done and ok.
We are not done. None of us really wants to go on without our families. But we do. Because no one sees what we see. They’ve not been where we have been. But we can show them with the words to describe the feelings we felt.
Having to move on without even recognizing our Mamas is cruel treatment. Having to move on without respect for the one who made us is an insane idea that needs to die at the hands of our truth. Having to go on at all after loosing it all is ridiculous and more than any child should have to go through.
But each day a child is separated from their Mamas. Their Mamas are left with a hole that they must deny to sVe face after realizing they got punked and just gave away their best hope, and their gift from the universe. They must look at themselves each day and realize they chose to see their gift as a curse. And that they did not have the faith to believe that their child was a gift.
Even if conceived in violence. A child is only a product of an act. They are not the act. How our Mamas have chosen to respond is on them. And they must look at that and learn the lessons from them. We the children have paid the price for what our fathers have done, and what our Mamas have done without proper licensing and permission to do so.
No Mama should feel her child is a demon seed. And every woman should understand the responsibility that being a woman is. The lives that come through us matter. We. Must address this most hurtful psychosis. Our truth contribute to realities whole. We must give it up per say. So they can see.
As we stand together and shine our light of truth, they will see. They will. That is how powerful our truth is. My Mama shows the power here. My truth sent her running like a scared little girl. My truth turned her upside down. She’s known on an instinctual level for 54 years, but denied her feelings. She had to survive. For me. And for my sisters.
And her prayer was that God would make it ok. Well. God can’t make something ok that’s not god’s design. But god can teach us all a lesson about it? For sure. Our truth is the lessons that need to be learned. Ba airs have feelings inside our Mamas womb. I did. I had strong feelings for my Mama. Very strong.
It was good I left. She was not going to be good to me. I see that. And what I also see is that no one helped her see it differently. I had to go u til I was old enough to set her straight. And it was a challenge growing up with a truth like mine and a Mama who could and did do me this way.
Ive accepted that this was her choice. But she needs to accept that this is mine. I. Do. Have. A choice. And she can try to block me. But she forget herself doing that. For her own blood has been used to set her straight. She made me for this day. Her truth. Is a two edged sword. And her light has yet to be seen. But I’ve seen and felt her light.
Her light is so strong that she held me in secret and loved me with her heart and sent me strength when God told her too. That’s. What I want the world to see! Her journal. The words of a mama to her child on paper with ink. She gave her blood to me. And her heart to me. My sisters and family didn’t even see it was right under their noses. Her loving me, in secret.
My Mama is an amazing person. Her body tired too. But she’s only known this way for so long and her hands are stuck holding an outdated way of life. And she must let go, and I as well, to the pain that has connected us since my conception. She loves me. She scared as hell. She thought and said some messed up things back then about me. She wants to be angry at me. Because anger has kept her together. Not senseless anger mind you. But a holy white anger that she herself has forgotten and denied for years because she made a vow.
Anger is not a bad emotion if channeled. She’s good. But I feed off anger. She can’t even see it in herself. She projects it onto me and everyone else as though it’s the truth. But it’s her anger that she sees in me. I have the same anger within. Hell if angers all Mama makes to eat? Well anger it is! Children will take what is feed to them until they learn better. I have learned.
Mama doesn’t realize her own daughters got her complete number. And she did not raise me. How is that? How can I push my Mamas buttons? So easily? Like Boom! And it’s the same with me. But things have changed. And Mama doesn’t want to change. Change is uncomfortable. Yes. But so fresh and rejuvenating. And she way underestimated herself about making me and what I am like. Like way off. She has forgotten fully what she’s made of and must look at me to see the rest of the story.
Like I could hide this truth if I wanted. And she is just not happy about the results and that her baby was hurt and missed her. She’s madder than a wet hornet! She’s just is good at hiding it. But it’s getting harder for Mama to hide her anger. Especially now that I’ve spilled the beans. She was on the martyrs road. But not anymore.
She’s just been served notice to appear as her title states by DNA, MAMA. and she coparents with Mama Jean. No longer in secret. I am done with meeting in our dreams and all that. I want flesh and blood to hold until death do us part. With all our crazy and love mixed up.
You know my Daddy never backed off of owning me as his child. He told me on our first telephone visit that lasted two hours, that he could take chaos. And also wrote me a note that stated that, “many things in his life her was not proud of, but that I was not one of them”. What a blessing from the man who’s body helped make you possible.
My Mama must see that I am a good thing that came from a very short relationship that was passionate and that their was love there, I am a product of love. Not hate. Divorce is tough. And people say mean and stupid things to people who divorce. Mama had to make this right. And it felt wrong to keep me. I care that she feared for us. And I want to change it for others to help her heal. Her back was against the wall and the only way out was to give me away and trust God had a plan.
This that I blog about is part of God’s plan and exposing all this is needed to expose what society is unable to see. They have. Wen programmed to be blind to us. They have learned a script that must change and have our characters and our truths to help them see.
What Adoption means to me, and you.
Thanks for diving deep with me.
And share my post. Let’s get the word out.
I am a Paul revere of sorts. If Mama and child are not safe, we all are in danger and our children and their children. Removing a child from a family tree is only geography. We are still their. Just invisible. Let’s show them what’s behind our well manicured masks.
It’s time. We are safe now to speak. We are grown. Our number many. Have Faith in your own truth. Pay no mind to the ignorant and tell it and educate the world. Let’s change it with the sword of our truths spoken authenticity as I have here. Raw. Honest. Gut wrenching truth.
I believe your truth. Will you?
Come share it here with me. We can do this. Let’s lay this
Burden down. Let them see how heavy it is.