My Mamas birthday was yesterday.

My Mamas birthday was yesterday. Not sure how old she is now, 70+ I guess. Why keep track? I don’t even get to spend her day with her. It’s really messed up. But it is nice to see that my DNA is from a strong woman. Please don’t think me calus by the way I talk. Adoptees have to look at their Mamas as Machines. We don’t really get to know our Mamas and only have fact and figures about them. So we sound a bit different from a child who has been kept.

Most people don’t see the difference. Except when we talk about our Mamas and Daddy’s. We the adopted sound like scientists and kind of sterile as we spout off histories we have learned from others, that are not founded in truth. We live the fairytales of those we were betrothed to love as our parents. We do and do not love the game called adoption that has ripped us from our Mothers care. We love that someone showed up, when our Mamas were either detained by force or by intimidation. We are grateful. But gratuity has everything to do with change. But deep inside we care a lot. We just don’t know how to show it? I mean history was rewritten. How do we approach such a delicate subject as our Mamas? Mamas are friends and Mamas are foes.

Adopted children know how to act with the new parents. They had to teach them. And now, that all this time passes, we are way behind on rewriting our lives back together, mama Jean included!

Like How do you tell your Mamas it hurt being split up? How do you explain how disruptive not being able to know your Mama is? Well, it looks like for me?, you just. Blurt it out and hope God helps your Mamas see. What can a child do when they have experienced it differently than everyone said you would? What do you do when you the child who experienced it, knows better?

Thanks for diving deep with me today.

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