And help behinds at home. So let’s help ourselves by clearing all those dumb things people say out of ignorance, with out truth.
As I see it silence may be golden. But it changes nothing. Our stories show the truth that people need to see. So that they can see what we are trying to shed light onto.
We know what Adoption means to you. But what it means to us is another thing. How Adoptions made many of us feel is an j
Portent telling point for us all to learn and grow from. Change demands review. Review give us a more complete view the affect Adoption has in fact had, and our life stories about how we perceived it dispels the myths that are a pain in our adopted asses.
If you struggle to understand what I mean.
Read Primal Wound for content and context. A link is below:
The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child https://www.amazon.com/dp/0963648004/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_uRFMzbXKH8BFB
If you can’t understand this book? Then take a moment to realize that this is what we struggle with. We don’t understand why we feel the way we do? And we live with a pain no one can see. It’s hard to describe. It’s so deep that many of us just dance around it, trying not to irritate it.
I made it to the place where I could identify what was causing it. I have been in mourning for years. I had not processed my intense feelings and bond with my Mama. She’s so strong she carried my my whole life in secret she prayed for me. That’s love.
What folks say is their truth. My Mama needed to hear and read the truth from her girl. What does what others say about us have any bearing on how I truly felt growing up? And my Mama needs to get used to being loved like I love her. Seriously. It’s intense. I won’t deny it.
I feel my love will calm down as I am with her more and my body can relax. I mean we all feel better when we are with our Mama. I have two. And one has been absent for years. And my Body is saying it’s time to spend more time with my Mama I came from. And I do admit I feel better after my vista as I have said before. And I wish people would see me as her child as well. I never was not her daughter inside. I feel that I am now more fully who I am, which is the daughter of two strong woman.
I want to celebrate that. And who can celebrate that kind of pinnacle when we have not made it yet? If my Mamas are not united, I am not united. I am resolved to ask for what I wish. And I do expect my family to support this change. I do feel we are ready. And that we will succeed.
I have shown all the bad we may have been dealing with. Harped a little to toughen us up about it, so we can learn to accept it as part of our life. My sister needed to Mom up and own her stuff. Tell her kids. She needed to not be like me and Mama. I want better for her. She really is a great person. It’s part of her story and has become a driving force that has help molded her.
Our Family coming together and grieving a loss is the healthy thing to do. We are the professional here. This is our family and our lives. We carve our legacy with each step. Our legacy is strong. I am strong. My family is strong. And Mama and me do need to outwardly express our penned up feelings about the event we both went through when we were separated after my birth.
Birth Mamas go through trauma. My Mama is no different than any other Mama. She suffered a loss. She lost out on me being the kick ass daughter that I am. She’s blown away by how bold and direct I am. How I am not afraid of her words and chew them up and love her more. That’s a crazy love. But that’s what makes it so precious.
I used to hate loving my Mama. Yeah. I did. I mean I was upset because I could not give Mama Jean that love. And I made me angry. I felt like I was cheating on her by loving my Mama. And that’s just a bit much to expect of me or any other child. Like these two woman want me to go against my nature? It’s my nature to love my Mama. I love Mama Jean too. I am soooo tired of my love for her being on the chopping block because I love my Mama?
These woman were adults at the time of my adoption. They understood what they were told By others. They entered into this contract about me. I am tired of people trying to hold me to their standard. I feel the happy medium should be where we go. See both side. Consider. And plan the new course. With all in consideration. We all matter. My sisters do matter. I do not take anything away from them. I want them to see that. I feel they do not see that. I feel if they did understood and felt secure about Mamas love they would simply tell me and not act like they have.
Why would my Mama be I trusted to protect them herself from me if my family was thinking sanely? And within reason? My truth is upsetting. But I am no longer the person who went through that. But I am damn good at making you feel it. And see how disruptive it made me. I went there and showed you. It’s not easy going back to update folks. It’s hard on our nervous systems. But the purge was needed for me to go on, lighter and more my authentic self.
That’s an excellent legacy to leave my children. My truth to light the path of the adopted, so those who are affected by t can see their way home. So that we can just stop this madness called adoption and the reasoning behind it. If it hurts one of us. It’s hurt us all. And should change. Do not brush our pain under the rug. It’s a mountain now. Time to clean up the mess Adoptions made of our lives.
Yes. Mess is harsh. And I did not always feel like that. But as of late with my Mamas like they are has taken all the fun out of being me. Like ugh. They expect me to just live like this forever! I simply am not able to live these two lives they wish me to to keep them separated. It’s ridiculous. I’ve had enough. Time for change. I need help from my people as I dare to do this that I dare to do.
Which is to unite my Mamas and bring myself full circle in a more complete way. Just to know my Mama and hang out a while is just silly when she right there and I am right here.
And I have done all the dirty work. I called you all out so we can go on and be better. Today is a new day. Will we chose the old or forge the new? Will we dig our roots in and withstand a storm that brings the rain for our spring. If we think about a tree, the roots have to have good dirt to hold onto. Our city’s been dug up. Let’s spread it all over us. Spring is to come for us beyond the death of our old.
Thanks for diving deep with me.
Thanks for your likes and shares as we forge a new day for Adoptees.