It’s kind of sad. 

That I really felt better about myself before I met my Mama Linda and sisters. Like I am a wildflower. And I like myself. I know I’m different and I’m ok with that. What’s upsetting is my family see some person other than who I am. 

They tell me I need help. And they block me. Like no one really hears me out to understand me? Kind of sad. Family is supposed to be there forever. Sisters are supposed to be protective of you and you of them? This is what being adopted is. Like being forever part of a family and yet In some Limbo place. 

My whole personna about myself has changed since I’ve seen how my family has treated me during a really trying time. Dealing with grief is hard, especially when the person you missed is alive. It’s like an open wound that just does not heal, but becasue it happened at so young, you have not processed and put words to what hurt. 

And from what I have experienced, when your body has had enough, it’s all systems reversed and you can’t even stop it. The truth just spits out. And you can’t stop it and you really don’t want to after you start to feel relief. 

I guess my family and all have changed perspectives now. Becasue what they thought about me and what Adoption meant to me was way off. And now they know. What they do is up to them. And I’m letting you into this so you can see what is like for an adoptee trying to reconnect completely. It’s hard work, but I feel worth it. 

Change is chaos. But after the storm comes the growth from that storm. I have hope. 

Thanks for stopping by. 

God bless. 

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