I know I am rough around the edges. That’s the point. 

Family. I get it. I’m rough as they come!! But do you just leave a diamond in its natural form and expect is to shine? With spit, polish and some good eyes the brilliance of its quality comes shining through. Right? 

Well? What you all waiting for? I mean, I’ve given you my intell, and how I got here? It’s been a rough ride being me. I don’t care about other Adoptees, persay. Their experiences is their experience. This is mine. Ok? 

It’s been rough trying to navigate all the stories trying to find my truth. And as I see it from my experience of finding you all, family grounds you. It’s the root system that nourishes us and I needed you all. I mean I am back and yet we all are like this? So sad. Sad for us. And sad for gods testimony among us. As Christian’s we should be getting this straightened out and turning it into a great testimony as a family unit as I see it. 

So what gives family? I know I am rough. That’s what I just showed you? And all of you woman can’t deal with me? I would think you’d want to help me be better? If I am so bad? How did I get this way? Do we. We’d to go there? Let’s just get me out of here. Ok? 

Like. Hello. I just shared allllllll my shit with you. And in girl code that’s a green light. That’s the code for, inner circle access. I don’t just do that for no reason. But, without bearing my heart, can can we form empathy with one another? How is a bond forged? Without honesty? 

And where is our willing was to understand one another? I so want to understand you all? Why do you all act like this? I would like to know that? But what kind of recipes do you have? What wines are yummy? Do you like herbs? Do you cook with them? What crafty things do you do? Do you go and get pedicures together? Do you still go camping together and how do I get invited? 

Is there any rituals that you have? What are they? What memories do you have growing up? Can we share ours and be ok? We did live through it? But I don’t know about it? How can I empathize if you don’t share yourselves with me? 

Polish and spit is all we need. I think we have enough spit. But we do need to polish this. 

I don’t give up. Sooo. We are going to be here a while if you all just keep digging your heels in and resisting change. Mama needs us to do this. We must show here what we all are made of. And Mama’s takes all kinds in and gives some away. Ok? So. I see that we need to rise up and show Mama we paid attention. She lead by example. 

This is what a real reunion looks like. Perfect chaos. Changes is chaos. My families lived a long time without me there. I’ve been like some ghost wafting through every now and again. And it’s time they all accept that I am alive, and a person with deep feelings for them. 

This life has left me rough. But my family does not need to leave me here. I just sent up the flare. Let’s pray the see it. 

Thanks for diving deep with me. 

God bless you. 

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