My patiences. 

It’s hard being patient with your Mama. It’s hard when she’s so turned around and can’t see it or listens to you. It’s hard to be patient when you Mama sees you as a mess, crazy, this, that and the kitchen sink. I am a good person. So is she? What is the issue between us then?

It’s hard to be patient when I have so much to share with her! I have so many gifts. And I just want to share them with her. I struggle to be patient when I just want to yell, “wake up Mama!! It’s me, your baby girl grown!!” ” let me in!! What happened? You used to be like me?” And your a good person too! 

It’s hard to be patient when your Mama’s a strong minded person. And you are trying to get through to her heart and her mind is not letting you through. 

Lord, I ask that you take this wall down between us. Please. I ask that you help us to bond like Mama and daughter to the part of my heart that is hers alone. Help her see that her portion has always been within me. And a child naturally bonds to their Mother. Even if she just gave birth to you, she still matters. Help her to see that Mama Jean taught me that. She always knew and respected that I would search for her. Lord. Help her see that no one will or needs to go without any longer. Even though I have seen beyond her curtain of secrecy, that God sees all. And that God showed me. And showed me the beauty in the chaos Here with she and I. Help me to let go and to leave her in your ever loving hands lord. I miss her so. You know my heart. Show her. Like you showed me. May pride be struck down today. May we both be humbled that God would give us a second chance together. Thank you. Amen

May love you win. With us all. 

Thanks for diving deep. 

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